He's Got An Addiction I Can't Cure

I will hold my ground.
I will not make one complaint or sound.
Relinquish the control.
Dieing slowly all alone.
A personal endeavor.
Acting out as a fool would only do.
With expectations running out so quickly.
What will you do now?
What will you do now?
That you have pushed me away for the bottle.
For just one more swallow.
Angry and miserable and nobody to hate but yourself.
Regret is easily forgotten with another reaching of what is on top of that shelf.
I pick you up only to watch fall right back down.
You take a swing at me and I just walk the other way.
I'll see you on a very sobering day.
I know you are waiting on and wanting the company.
But not when you hate, not when your slurred words are nothing but pure venom.
So say it again I hope your happy.
I never took a damn thing from you that was not given freely.

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poem by Ace Of Black Hearts
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The Permanent Structure

But of the invisible.
The white smoke that appears as a ghost.
You must let go.
Clear your mind.
Bring yourself into the present time.
Agony is watching someone suffer and know you can do nothing.
Especially when you love them.
To empower, to give strength.
When in the mind the chalk board becomes blank.
An empty sheet is still waiting to be written.
Solitude waits by the fire from where I'm sitting.
A pattern not to be repeated, and I concede that I must tell someone of these dark secrets.
As my heart tells me divulge them.
I know that some will not understand.
How can he talk like this, how he can speak of crying on his knees?
Is he not a grown man?
Is he not suppose to be strong?
Is showing my emotions so wrong?
Does it make me weak?
Should I instead lash out in anger?

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poem by Ace Of Black Hearts
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Destroying The White Knight Syndrome.

Again i hear that desperate plea.
like voices in my head but you are real.
Damn girl you just don't give up that game.
chasing a dream.
if it could be so only so perfect.
but i know that not how things roll.
you know no love for nothing but self gain.
i got the white knight syndrome and want to help.
but i know i must wait for the true intent hasn't been revealed.
if i didn't know you so personally
i wouldn't have stuck around this long.
i wouldn't have been there for you to lean on.
a anchor in ground.
gave you a place to call home when you were all alone.
now its in your hands.
What will you do?
what will you choose?
i can't give my heart away that easily to you.
you destroyed me, and ripped my heart into oblivion.
but we can't have that again.

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poem by Ace Of Black Hearts
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Stuck In Limbo

Me and all my naive thoughts, sometimes I wish they would just all shut up.
It's not like that could ever happen I keep telling myself.
Trying to stay a realist even as I aspire to reach a higher calling.
And thoughts linger of time spent upon these dreams.
Hoping they are not a waste in the melting pot.
I sorry sir, It's not editable.
That I wouldn't even wouldn't even feed to my dog.
Boy, thanks for all the encouragement mr. realist.
Maybe I should rip up a idea not yet even put upon the paper and jump off a bridge in to water fridgid cold.
If I was to continue in such self pity I would drown.
Instead I move on, knowing not the road in which I follow.
But still I walk down it.
I'm not ashamed because I still don't even know who I am.
Yes a man but of what kind.
Am I of the good as I try to be?
Hard working, but of the work is it time wasted.
How many times can you look in to a black abyss and come out the same.
Damaged and no way out.
With every negative thought rings upon more and more doubt.
If I can't believe in myself how can I ever truly trust.

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poem by Ace Of Black Hearts
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Eating A Disaster

Feeding off every feeling like a monster. Eating a disaster. Things are spinning. Faster and faster. When will it stop. Why is it so hard to let go. I will never know. But the show must go on. At the break of the next dawn i will start walking. To the better life. The one that makes me forget all my regrets. Whispers will constantly haunt me here. So i must disappear. I cant have her so near. I need protection from this evil. Distance, is the only solution. I'm not running. Im hunting to fill a hole that has got this situation out of control. Call it being cold. But shes fiction in my mind. And that cause me to break down every time. My dues have been paid. And i have worn out my welcome to stay. To the hell with it all. No more stalling. I find it so god damn appalling. I hate it because i know what i want. And its the one thing i can not have. So what else can i do. A couple bucks, a car, and ill drive so fucking far. A whole world at my disposal. So why be so close minded or blinded. Its a clock with no rewind. Her loss not mine. Steadfast, eraseing our past. Prentending each breath is my last. True motivation atlast. No help needed. I stand my ground on concrete. Its not a retreat. But instead its what i need for me. Call it an unborn fantasy. Call it a choice with an unheard voice. One of many. Writing it all out as it about to come about. Not a shred of doubt. Listen to me as shout this is where i stand. I am but only a man. With my own convictions. With my own afflictions. I will not bow or back down. for i am now standing on solid ground.

poem by Ace Of Black Hearts
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Taking On The Arch Angel, Dark Angel, The Exiled Angel(Orginal Now Viewable)

I say to the arch angel,
I say to dark angel,
I say to the exiled angel,
I falter not, you can try all you want.
Still I shall sing my silhouette.
Of that which makes me love, me care,
I will never fall into despair.
No matter the poison in the air.
Use the confused as weapons to
attack my unwillingness to surrender.
I defy you in every way.
Even when I worn out my stay.
I will not lash out, I will sit back and take it.
For my sins can be forgiven.
My prejudice can not.
So I will not say what could be said with no regret.
So I say arch angel, I say dark angel,
I say exiled angel I falter not, no matter
what you got hanging over my head,
my soul is not dead,

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poem by Ace Of Black Hearts
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A Guys Favorite Club

Going to a strip club tonight.
Flordia is the only place for me when it comes to the you can look but don't touch.
God how I love it so much.
One night, bottoms up, and the moneys all gone.

Triple XXX at the front door.
Sometimes it takes a big man to protect the girls.
That bouncer will knock you right to the floor.

Going to a strip club tonight.
Flordia is the only place for me when it comes to the you can look but don't touch.
God how I love it so much.
One night, bottoms up, and the moneys all gone.

All in good fun.
Sexual desires on the run.
Where's your mind as you glance.
Looky there that mans getting another lap dance.
She strips all the way down and spins around.
The perfect beauty, the perfect curves.

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poem by Ace Of Black Hearts
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(Confused Poem) Barely Breathing

Just Barely Breathing.
Where Am I?
How Did I Get Here?
Gone Astray.
Becoming One Of Lords Dismayed.
No More Faith.
Just A Bitter Taste Left With The Lust Of Revenge.
I Don't Think I Can Be Fixed.
I've Been Broken
And My Soul Will Never Be Re-awoken.
No Sense Of Remorse.
That Twist In Your Stomach Just No Longer Affect Me.
Sorrow Is A Waste Of My Time.
Call It Collateral Damage If You Will.
But I'm Still Empty.
Voided Out As Part Of The Past.
But I'm Still Here.

Just Barely Breathing.
Where Am I?

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poem by Ace Of Black Hearts
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The Forgotten Son(Name Revised Hopefully Viewable)

Oh exiled angel,
oh the forgotten son,
please say your not the only one.
Its a sad life of loneliness we live in.
Have you given it your all?
Sacrifice after sacrifice.
Everyone has disappeared.

Oh exiled angel,
oh forgotten son,
please say your not the only one.
Dreams are broken.
Dreams are stolen.
Still you are standing here.
Holding on.
You are only so strong.
Baring your soul time after time,
just to see it fade,
lying in the wake of all those horrible mistakes.
Only true heart break is everlasting.

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poem by Ace Of Black Hearts
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Small Footprint

If you still haven't heard from me.
You probably never will.
A drifter drinking straight out of the still.
The wisdom of climbing up the hill.
The sweat disappears.
I haven't been so nervous in years.
But now I'm here.
And its raining so damn hard.
It's a elaborate environment.
So many complexities.
They call this a new age.
I call it just another new phase.
The craze will be over soon enough.
One color forever and always looming in the background.
Solid as the ground in which I stand.
Some have a plan.
Some do not.
But so what.
Things will not play out as in Romeo and Juliet.
So many tragedies have spoken.

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poem by Ace Of Black Hearts
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