I Said
God Im hurt.
I said God Im hurt.
And god said I know.
I siad God I cry a lot.
And God said thats why I gave you tears.
I said God I get so damn depressed.
And God said thats why I gave you sunshine.
I sais God life is so hard.
And God said thats why I gave you loved ones.
I said God my Loved ones dead.
And God said I watched mine nailed to the cross.
I said God your loved one lives.
And God said so does yours.
I said God where are they?
And God said mine is on my right and yours is in the light.
I said God it hurts.
And God said I know
poem by Amy Louise Kerswell
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Remember I told you
Remeber I told you
I have had enough of life.
I assume you dont think
I have been through enough.
Just what is it with you?
I cant go on any longer
Rape and abuse
Has dampened my life
Now I cant go on
The voices and flashbacks
It drives me insane.
Now when you find me
You shouldnt be surprised
I did tell you
I warned you
What I was going to do.
Just remember that I told you
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poem by Amy Louise Kerswell
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It hurts
It hurts being me.
I want to break free.
I wish I could let go.
I wish I could move on.
I only wish I knew how.
I've lived with this for so long.
I only wish I could be strong.
What they did was wrong.
But still I let them win.
I cant put it where it belongs in the bin.
Please let me be me.
God help me win.
Please let me win the fight.
Even though it leaves me with fright.
And I fear the on going plight.
God it hurts to be me.
They say god dosent give you any more than you can handel.
So why can't I handel this?
It hurts It hurts.
IT HURTS
poem by Amy Louise Kerswell
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Casualty of abuse
I was a casualty of abuse.
I was a victim of rape.
I was hurt more than once.
God I hate you I hate you all.
All you said is it was a game.
The only one who had the fun was you.
I know what its like to hate.
Becuase I sure as hell hate you.
I try not to be that casualty any more.
Only try as I might.
Defeated I fall.
Its hard to forget and move on.
When justice was not done.
When I see and hear you all the time.
I will forever remain a casualty of abuse.
Like a casualty of war.
I will always be broken.
And pain will always engulf my hart.
poem by Amy Louise Kerswell
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I remember
I remember the way you forced me.
You spread my legs.
You took my clothes.
You took my childhood
And you stole my innocence.
You forced your tognue over me.
To the back of my throat.
You pinned me down.
I remember the green coat.
I cant even stand the coulour green.
I remember the red bus.
On the top deck.
I cant get a red bus.
Or im back there again.
But its all a joke
cos im stuck there every day.
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poem by Amy Louise Kerswell
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Just another suicide that wont make the news
I'm to be a person who takes ther life.
Countless times I have tried.
Maybe one day I will succed.
But I'll only be another suicide that dosen't make the news.
My life is full of pain.
It's had more downs than ups.
I know I will leave a void in peoples hearts.
I don't want to hurt anybody.
Truly I don't.
But try as hard as I try.
I still hurt them anyway.
I never asked for this pain.
I have nothing to gain.
I only want to end my pain.
But now it's to late.
I honestly belive this is the only way.
I'm just another suicide that wont make the news.
poem by Amy Louise Kerswell
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Mirror (Depression)
I stare in to the miror.
A figure stares back at me.
The person I hardly regonise,
but I know that its me.
I think of how happy I once used to be.
It all seems so long ago now.
As if it were a life time ago.
Looking back I think why and how?
Where did it all go so wrong?
How the hell did it come to this?
To me wanting and attempting to die?
Staring at the mirror, starring into space.
I wonder what will become of me?
A corpse or a walking zombie?
Now I cant remember a time when I felt happy.
I never knew of a time when I felt so bright.
poem by Amy Louise Kerswell
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When the Day's Just Beginning, I Pray for My End
When the morning dawns.
I wake in haste.
I'm praying real hard for my end.
Life's experiences have driven me around the bend.
With out an ounce of dignity left to spend.
As the new days dawns.
I hope no one mourns.
I want my life to end.
It has twisted me around the bend.
As my days go on.
My pain does not end.
Fear not I have a plan.
I shall take my life tonight.
As the new days dawns.
My life is dying out.
I did the act of suicide.
I'm almost gone.
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poem by Amy Louise Kerswell
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Dirty
Filthy dirty (not yet finished)
I'll show you what pain is.
I belive this is what you thought.
I hope you can live with yourself.
You vile peice of scum.
I hate you
You raped me you abused me.
You hurt me.
Worst of all
You stole my trust
You took my innocence.
Rape Rape
Please god no not again
Get off me
Please leave me alone.
one day You'll regret what you've done.
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poem by Amy Louise Kerswell
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Suicides Hand
Today I'll be gone
I'm going to take your hand now Suicide.
Please please lead me to freedom.
Release me from my fears.
Please no more tears.
Today I'm leaving this world,
Suicide has shown me the way.
Told me sadness I need not bear.
Dont need to be a burden no more.
Suicide told me go on,
Go on take them pills,
|You'll soon be free.
Now I'm on my way with suicide
The pills taking over me
Sleepiness is at hand.
The peace and tranquility
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poem by Amy Louise Kerswell
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