Look
Look in to my eyes.
There you will see the pain.
The pain I've hidden for so many years.
In my sad eyes lies all my fears.
At times life is to much to bear.
Look in to my shattered eyes.
There you will see my heart in tatters.
Altough you thought it wouldn't mattet.
You thought it was be cool to rape and batter.
Look in to my eyes.
There my hurt lies.
I hate you.
I begged you not to.
My eyes pleaded with you.
Look in to my eyes.
Can you see what you've done to me?
You've left me in bits.
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poem by Amy Louise Kerswell
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Terror in the fields
I often dreamt there was a beast.
A beast lurking in the feild.
A human beast that didnt no how to be humane.
The only thing this beast knew was power of one thing.
The power of rape was what he knew.
As I played in the field.
My little playing place.
He was watching my every move.
Yes this is the perfect one shes all alone.
As I ran passed the trees.
He pounced on me.
Shut it or I'll kill you was what he said.
In that split second he raped me.
And I couldnt do a thing.
All I could do was lie there frozen to the spot.
I couldnt shout or scream.
I couldnt wriggle free.
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poem by Amy Louise Kerswell
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I thought
I thought I saw his face to day.
In the wake of the sun.
And then I heard the Lord say.
His work here is done.
I thought I heardhis voice today.
And luagh your joyfull luagh.
Then I heard the Lord say.
There is peace dear one at last.
I though I felt your touch in the breeze that rustled by.
And then I heard the lord say.
The spirit never dies.
I thought I saw my broken hart.
In the cresent of the moon.
And then I heard the lord say.
I am coming soon.
I thought that you had left me
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poem by Amy Louise Kerswell
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I thought of dying today
I thought of dying today.
It seemed the right answer.
Thevery right thing to do.
As everything was building up.
The pressure piled on up.
If only I could of spoken.
If only I could of found the words.
And opened my heart.
Maybe just maybe.
It wouldnt of come to this.
My dramatic end.
I thought of dying today.
As the shiny blade glistened.
And the pill bottle spoke.
I just knew what I had to do.
I couldnt take any more.
Today my thinking stopped.
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poem by Amy Louise Kerswell
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Dear Grandad
Oh how I miss you so very much.
I never knew what sorrow that day would bring.
When your hart of gold stopped beating.
And I couldnt do a thing.
I know you had cancer.
And knew your pain had to end.
But it dosent make the loss of you any easier.
I miss you still.
Death is a hard thing.
And the grieving part still exits.
But most of all.
I wonder what would you think of me now?
Would you think I was some kind of bitch.
Or some sort of coward that wants to end life?
When you fought so hard for yours.
And you still went away.
Just what would you think of me?
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poem by Amy Louise Kerswell
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I stand at your side.
I stand near you every day.
I was with you yestuarday and I'll be here tomorrow too.
I know you think suicide is the end,
But it's not belive me it's not.
I walk with you everyday And I wish you would'nt cry.
I saw you at my grave to day it's nice and tidy.
I see you lay the flowers for me.
How I wish I could tell you that I'm ok
I wish some how I could let you know I'm happy and free.
I see sat in the chair with my photo.
And I see your tears flow.
I see you with another night of crying.
I never wanted to cuase you this pain.
I whisper to you Mum I'm ok.
It seems you heard cos you looked up and smiled.
And every time I look in on you know I see your smile.
But I am allways at your side.
poem by Amy Louise Kerswell
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My last flight
Please do not grive none for me.
I'm following the way I was shown.
A life of peace and harmony I did not not know.
Maybe in death I will learn what its about.
Please do not cry for me.
This is my one last flight.
I simply could'nt go on with the fight.
Be not sad with my parting.
Now my final journey has begun.
My past had just one.
It breaks my heart to leave you.
But I didn't have any other way.
Maybe my time seemed all to brief.
And my suicide an untimely death.
It was with relife I breathed my last breath.
Don't waste your time with tears and sorrow.
Remeber the laughs we used to share.
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poem by Amy Louise Kerswell
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Silence and pain
Silence has built a wreckage of a girl
Silence feeds on her loneliness.
Bringing with it pain and sadness
Black clouds haunt and torment.
A young woman is struck and wrecked.
Struck, wrecked and destroyed by depression.
There is no sound of laughter or joy here.
she has chucked in the towel today
Her soul slowly rots away into decay.
soon depression will claim her.
Emptiness builds itshome in this young woman
Silence and sadness has bred her soul and heart.
A deepening sea of nowhereness consumes
And eats away at every connecting thread
Confusion feeds like a savage inside her,
Leaving no worthy remains
Destined to walk through life Alone.
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poem by Amy Louise Kerswell
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Hetuaght me a lesson
He said he was going to
teach me a lesson.
I needed to no some things.
The lesson was rape.
But he said it was a game.
He said I had to learn sometime.
When he'd finished.
He smiled and said.
This happens to
Stupid little girls
All the time.
I was only teaching you a lesson.
If it was a lesson to learn
It was one well tuaght.
Be weary of who you trust.
For you never can
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poem by Amy Louise Kerswell
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Water edge suicide
Here I am above the sea'
Sat on the rocks thinking and dying.
Just what is there left for me?
A life of fear and pain in the unknown.
I walk down to the sand
As iI take of my shoes shaking are my hands.
One bare foot placed in front of the other
These are my last steps to freedom.
I walk in to the sea.
Futher and futher I walk.
Waves getting water getting colder.
I walk on without fear,
I am not afraid.
It’s no more threatening
Than the life I shall leave behind me..
Now as I throw My head back.
And sway with the roaring waves
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poem by Amy Louise Kerswell
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