What was Not What is

What was not what is,
Things are different because times change.
Yet my love for you remains the same.

What was not what is,
Now I have to remember to know my place.
Was in a relationship now I am single,
Feeling love sick and I do not want to mingle.

What was not what is,
I do not want to forget,
Because I have no regret.

No more what was I have to deal with what is,
I have no choice but to leave and my status is incomplete.
What was I still have a vivid imagery,
What is looks a bit blurry.

What was..........What was
Not what is! ! ! ! !

poem by Anita Khelawan
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My Last Days

My last days are close by,
Take a good look at me and see the pain in my eyes.
All alone in this world,
Things can't ever stay right or good.
I never thought my last days would end like this,
I didn't even get to fulfil my bucket list.

I am detached from my human self,
So all alone and cold what's the use telling someone else.
In my last days jumping off a bridge look more intriguing.
I am not going to, just going to stick it through.
In my darkest hour,
I wish I had a rewind card so I can start over.
Not to do the same thing all over,
No it is to create the new Memoirs of Anita

poem by Anita Khelawan
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The Unknown

He says this time we mightn’t last
I’m changed but he says my actions are from the past
I love him
So much so I treat him like a king
Questions left unanswered
Thoughts left unheard
Sometimes I’m taken a back
I’ll continue to be subtle me
Ignore the entities out there because their purpose is to sidetrack
I’ll remember where I stand, smile and continue on my straight journey
I am yet to understand there’s so much only one person can do
With that being said I’ll put my trust in him in us so we could see it true.
In my quarters I shall dwell
And as for us ‘will we make it? ’ only time will tell

poem by Anita Khelawan
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Trapped

Alone with my thoughts that's how it should be
I loved this man and he said it's only me
But of late I'm not sure
If we are just friends or could become something more
He makes me so angry
And at times I'm unhappy
On days like these I think about what it's like to be alone
Life after Sheldon is my true question
One time I said me or her as I proceeded to give him an ultimatum
He said "see ya" because she was never an option
But he didn't choose me
Now I'm enraged filled with jealousy and thanks to him, I'm thinking differently
I feel as if I'm between the devil and the deep blue sea
It's either him rather than choosing me

poem by Anita Khelawan
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My Anastasia (My Baby Girl)

The day you were born,
There is no doubt in my mind that you are my number one.
I can feel you twisting, kicking and turning in my belly,
Pain and back aches I did not care cause God knows I am happy.
I can not wait to see your beautiful face,
My memories of you I would never replace.

Now it is time for you to arrive,
Can not wait to see your gorgeous smile.
Scared, excited with a whole lot of jitter,
I love you my beautiful Anastasia.

Now I can hold you.
So happy to be mothering you.
Looking into your wondering eyes,
So happy you complete my life.

Proud to be your Mother,
Proud to call you my Daughter.
You are my 'Anastasia'.

poem by Anita Khelawan
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Lonely Love (Alone)

I am in love all by myself,
Surprising thing is I don't want to love someone else.
But I have to because all of a sudden he shows me no respect,
So I have come to a decision that I'll love only myself.

He got so much friends,
More and more my long awaited fairy tales comes to an end.

The love I have for him hasn't weaken,
It just took shelter from deep within.
so now I see the truth for what it really is,
I don't know what to call it; but whatever it is I'm sure to miss.

Filled with silence,
My curiosity eludes me, it had me wondering if he'll notice my absence.

I have decided to stick it through,
Do it for me and not for you.

poem by Anita Khelawan
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RELATIONSHIPS- A Bitter Sweat Feeling

I'm finally in a relationship,
And more so I'm being advised to quit.
I question the motives of our relationship,
It just made me realized it wasn't what I had expected.
In a relationship there's no more I's it's two,
When decisions are made I can't think about myself, I include you.

In a relationship feeling better off single,
I'm stuck in a web and can't get untangled.
The constant arguing and accusations,
I am tired.
When he says it wasn't intentional,
Once too many times it becomes unbearable.
It's like you want me to hate you.
Actually I hate the things you do.
Deciphering what's hold me.
It's LOVE, an unknown and unseen entity.

poem by Anita Khelawan
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Poetry

Poetry.......
Poetry defines me

Poetry.......
A place where you be you and I'll be me.

Poetry.......
We are best friends for eternity.

My Poetry.......
Is the daughter of my emotion,
There I've said it, no need to interpret the connection.

Poetry.......
Where my pen and paper are sealed with a kiss,
So easy to write for my mind is a bliss.

Poetry.......
Poetry has multiple meanings,
An indescribable feeling when I realize others understand them.

[...] Read more

poem by Anita Khelawan
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My recovery (21 POEMS)

Twenty one...some number
Twenty one poems I can’t remember
21....waiting for you to re-discover
If only I could have seen this story foretold
It hurts to know they never had the chance to see the world
They were my hidden acclamation
All they ever wanted was a public proclamation
I didn’t because they were conceived by my emotion
As d old saying goes 'it probably happen for a reason'
21 poems all gone
In the middle of the night someone broke into my home
Twenty one poems all gone
Why did I only save them in my phone?
I miss my babies
Now they’re just fading memories
I desperately try 2 remember
It’s sooooo hard to conceive (write) another
SiGH *mylostlove*

poem by Anita Khelawan
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Hurt

I wished things were different, truth be told they're not,
It hurts to know I have nothing even though I've given you all that I got.

Hurt and at an all time low,
Don't know if I should stay or if I should go.
An apology would have been well appreciated,
Didn't get any so now I am feeling ill treated.

I know what I have to do...
Leave...
Save ourselves from these unwanted miseries.
Don't know what's next for tomorrow,
One thing for sure is endless sorrow.

I hate the way things have ended,
Now I have to look for the pieces of my heart so they can be mended.
I am not going to pretend,
My love for him would never end.
So even though I have lost love, I have gained a Best Friend

poem by Anita Khelawan
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