Friend

My life is a puzzle that challenges the mastermind, and the
Love I feel for you is deeper than the well of silence…
When I look up into the sky, I see clouds obliterate the rays of the sun, though
You are the gentle breeze that blows those clouds away, as
You capture the rain, my tears- in your loving hands,
And transform them to dewdrops that glisten in
The sunshine at the dawning of each new day.
My soul dances inside of a stallion and inside of the exterior of a
Playful and innocent child, my heart weeps and trembles and
The voice of my spirit chortles although at times screams out in terror, but the
Voices that plague my troubled mind will not be silenced...
You are the brightest star of all of the constellations that shine upon
My dark world, and the gentle hand that wipes my tears away,
The jester that makes me laugh, and the song that moves me to tears…

poem by Claudia Krizay
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Night and Day

Night is bleak and my bed is warm.
Dark is dismal and my home is safe.
Today was torture and happily, I live alone.
The day has ended and I yawn.
The day has ended, but I am holding on.
Today everything went wrong- as it did
Yesterday and the day before.
Nights are dismal and my bed is inviting.
The day is over- I am tired.
I am tired but am trying to keep my eyes open.
I am fighting sleep although
Today was hell on earth.
I can hear voices inside my head saying
“Tomorrow is another day.”
Nighttime is dreary and today was
A fight to stay alive.
Today is over, and I yawn and keep my eyes open.
If tomorrow is another day and
Night is bleak, dark and relentless-
What am I holding onto?

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poem by Claudia Krizay
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Random Thoughts

I chant my melody as I glance upwards towards the sky,
Though the words I do not fathom.
Rain inundates my dreamscape.

The trees hear my every heartbeat, comforting me.
They give me shade and a shelter from the world when
Hail is falling hard….
They speak to me when the wind blows rustling leaves…

Yesterday, I walked into the afternoon sun- as it
Rose high above the treetops-
The sky appears ominous, as
Dark thunderclouds have formed on the horizon
Today it has begun to storm.
.
I walk into the woods on this sultry evening, as
The remaining sunlight fights the clouds.
Darkness overcomes.

Trees have souls and, branches that embrace,

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poem by Claudia Krizay
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Meaningless

Today I awakened and
I ran and ran and ran-
Headed towards no place
In particular –
I pleaded for help, but
Nobody came so
I stood up and ran and ran and ran-
Toward nowhere but knowing that
There is no such thing as nowhere-
Every place is some place, even
If it has no name-
Even if its name defines it as it
Not being a place-
There must be someplace that awaits me-
Today I am destined to go and
I don’t know where to but I must keep on believing
That there exists a place just for me-
I picked flowers along the way and
I cried hard yesterday- in this moment
My life has no meaning and

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poem by Claudia Krizay
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Evening Litany

It has so often been said that some people
Create dreams, and others live them…

If I were offered reality, I would refuse it-
Even in my most profound moments of madness, as I live in fear…

If friendship were offered to me, I may accept it, but
With care and caution, for I do not trust many…

-Although- if a tune was played, I would sing to it, because
Music brings to me peace and joy, as it uplifts my wounded spirit…

If one brought me incense, I would let it permeate my castle, for
Its sweetness and delicate scent would soothe me and calm my
Tormented soul…

If the whole world wished to trade with me their madding crowd to
My solitude, I would say” No”, for in
My solitude, I have found freedom of expression of my
Inner creative self, and-

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poem by Claudia Krizay
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Snake

I am a snake-
Some call me a venomous rattler.
Seething with anguish,
I slither in the sand.

There is no water in this tepid desert.
I foresee no oasis.
There is no liquid to quench
My insatiable thirst.
A mirage has become a liar to me.

I am a venomous rattling snake.
I squirm beneath the torridity of
This desert’s noon sun.

Fearful of all who encounter me,
I am a frightening source to others.

I am a snake – terrified, and defensive.
I lash out to all who approach me.

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poem by Claudia Krizay
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Pink Rose

Somewhere
Upon my doorstep
A pink rose
Lay dying,
Although I never meant to hurt anyone,
All I could do was to pluck it from its branch
Not to give it to you –
Or to anyone,
Moreover,
Though-
It now lies haphazardly, and awkwardly
Alone in the grass in a graveyard
Withering –
All of its life has been usurped,
And-
All that is left alive is one thorn
Upon its stem,
Sticking into my side.
I cry out in pain,
But death never makes me weep, only laugh-

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poem by Claudia Krizay
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Nature's Laughter

Today the fog hovered densely over the horizon, and as
I gazed upwards towards the sky at dawn upon awakening,
I could only begin to wonder
If that sky had expression as upon
The face of a lost soul,
It would be contorted with
Pain and hopelessness,
Dark as fear, dismay and utmost misery as it can be-
In any given moment
It would weep bitterly,
Its tears pouring from
Those make believe eyes, although
A heavy heart and despair is
Never make believe-
I could laugh or cry,
But as gray and overcast a day it is,
I can only laugh only because
Life is just too short to
Take clouds too seriously as
Just like sadness and tears,

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poem by Claudia Krizay
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Nightmare

As I awaken from a
Restless sleep,
I hear a sudden shattering
Upon this tempestuous night,
As I rise, cryptically glancing
Outside my bedroom window,
Darkness fades as
Disjointed shards of glass
Are dropping, seemingly from the sky
Black as burning cinders, and
Helplessly as would
Dead crows,
Onto the frozen cement,
Into a foul, fetid heap,
Defining wrath and bitterness, it would be
As breaking into smithereens-
The cracking of ice, and
If could be heard,
Lightening opening the vastness of the blackening sky,
A fissure in the imaginary voices that only I can hear, and

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poem by Claudia Krizay
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To Marjjorie and I

(This poem was originally written with
My non-dominate hand.)

She upheld the rising sun with the inner strength,
She felt so proudly in her heart, mind and soul.

The late summer breeze carried her spirit.

There was so much love in her heart,
She could generously give to the ones she trusted, and cared for,
But so sadly, masked by the purplish thunderclouds,
A storm, obviously eminent,
Turned her heart upside-down,
Her innate sorrow, exacerbated.

She ran from the migrating wild geese.
She feared so deeply anything that could harm her-
Whether a sudden bolt of lightening striking,
Or simply being under a constant watch.

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poem by Claudia Krizay
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