Protagonist

Tears had once fallen from inside
Every part of me-
A breeze rustles the barren branches on the trees
In the midwinter, here where
Fear, anger and mistrust have for so long been the enemy.
I can envision something magical about every bough upon every tree, while
The sound of the wind calms me.
I watch the branches upon the surrounding trees move about
As ballerinas dancing-
A symphony is playing inside of my mind-
Every thought transforming fear toward enchantment-
I also am dancing to the melody of the wind.
As snow begins to fall,
I can clearly see a pathway blazing before me now.
I am in union with nature as the deer running wild,
Trees scraping the sky and the uniqueness of every snowflake
Has obliterated the anguish and suddenly all that once tormented me
Has been lost behind me now as I keep stepping forward, into the
Glory of the wilderness-
My only care now is what the future holds-

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poem by Claudia Krizay
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Saturn's Dance

Upon this clear and mystical night
I have so often dreamt of Saturn gracefully dancing
Within an ocean in the sky- while the
Nighttime is gloriously illuminated by
Starlight and the essence of my delusiveness-

As I build flamboyant castles that
Scrape the atmosphere on a summer’s eve
Enlightened by my inner song-
The rings of Saturn spin
Blissfully and peaceably about and
I weep tears of amazement and delight.

Astounded by the phenomenal beauty of the evening
If I could touch the stars and
Make my home within a castle in the sky-
I would-

Upon awakening from this phantasmal trance
I have found myself detached from what is not truly real and

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poem by Claudia Krizay
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Electroconvulsive Therapy

In this moment I feel as if I am falling,
Into a prison from nowhere,
I see my shadow arabesque as
I watch my reflection appear
In a river of never abating madness-
Hiding from all that is real,
Moments have passed since I lay upon
A cold metal table,
Drifting off to sleep, and
Upon awakening-
I remember nothing, except for
The sensation of falling
From nowhere into nothingness-
As I watch the sun rising,
Outside of a picture window,
I find myself alive in some different place in time.
I feel my heart pounding
As is it were trying to escape
From a prison of iron bars inside of my chest, as
My brain spins about

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poem by Claudia Krizay
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Freak Out

The sun opens its eyes
Upon the distant horizon
Nature plays its peace harp as
I look into the dawning-
Petals of the glass rose blooming inside of my heart,
Tremulous as they fall
To my feet, splinter and are carried away-
A fallen foundation,
Shattered tranquility,
I would become a pilot in my solitude
In control of my own destiny,
A hurricane or none less than a
Whole gale in its full force,
With ammunition to kill and
The fury of the rage of a winter’s storm-
My soul, swept away,
My heart, frozen as
My fondest reverie has been
Dissipated, hurled and carried away
By the force of as that of a tornado-

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poem by Claudia Krizay
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Candle of Hope

Candle of Hope

Lost within space and time,
I am running, as I am
Following the stars before me-

Inside of my mind,
All I can see are moments of madness.
My hair, blowing in the wind, behind me, as I
Dash away from all that I fear,

My thoughts are far away from
Every moment in time,
As I am searching for a ray of hope to hold onto as
None of my dreams have ever
Come true-

If I could light a candle,
Perhaps its flame would guide me towards a miracle-
A miracle of my most promising fantasies becoming reality-

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poem by Claudia Krizay
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Thought Broadcasting

Silence is a silver ship
Traveling at the speed of the darkness,
Black holes are the edifices in which I
Build my thoughts-
Word by word,
Each and every syllable forms upon my lips,
And then broadcasted, aloud-
Thoughts are killers- thoughts can harm-
My thoughts can be heard from afar.
Within this room I write my thoughts
With a pen that is void of ink, or a pencil
That has no lead,
Invisible they are, but somehow,
These thoughts are broadcasted aloud.
Thoughts are killers thoughts control-
My thoughts can be heard from afar.
A silver ship with its sail to the wind,
A wild horse that canters across vast terrain, or
Pebbles that roll off of my fingertips,
That splash into the creek, one by one,

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poem by Claudia Krizay
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Today

Once many walked behind me on
The same path while
Nobody has ever walked before me-
Every time I look behind
Someone is approaching me-
I could see my reflection in a pond nearby or perhaps, in a mirror-
Yesterday is gone and
Nobody knows what tomorrow shall bring-
I tell myself that
Whatever lurks behind is none but a
Memory of yesterday and
I must not look behind because
All that happened yesterday is none but a threat to me.
I shall keep looking at my reflection
Whether it be in a pond, a mirror or
Perhaps I may see none but a shadow-
But these are all the same.as
I have learned to believe in myself,
And to live only for today-
Yesterday shall soon be forgotten-

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poem by Claudia Krizay
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Stars, Stripes and Paper Dolls

Stars, stripes and paper dolls
Sometimes most prominent inside
My troubled mind,
That sordid spirit had
Locked the door to humanity-
I was none but a child-
Too many dreams
Snakes at my bedside-
My delusional world
Alive last night,
This morning and at
Noon, every night-
Walking the tightrope day by day
Some child lashing out at me, spit in my face-
None but a child myself-it frightened me-
I became a prisoner inside the world of my dreams-
Locked inside with a platinum key-
Fell one day down the elevator slats-
Closed the door on humanity, I did-
Stars, stripes and paper dolls-

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poem by Claudia Krizay
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Lover of Nature

As the sun rises over the mountainside,
A fascination with all that is innate,
Here within the depth of the woodlands
I have been drawn closer to nature,
Blossoming wild flowers,
Trees scraping the cumulus clouds above and
Deer gallivanting about the trail-
Only the songs of locusts singing has
Interrupted the enchanting silence,
As I suddenly but unobtrusively fall into a deeply thoughtful mode-
In all suddenness I find myself content and delighted
To be alone with my own thoughts and
Rewardingly close to the glory of
This scenery, so picturesque and inspiring
In a most unique, mesmerizing way-
Far away from the loudness of city life,
Cars rushing up and down hectic highways, and
People never pausing to see what exists beyond
Their daily routines,
I call myself fortunate to be blessed with solitude and with

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poem by Claudia Krizay
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Psychosis

Falling from the heavens I can only envision
My hemorrhaging heart and my thinking
Are running overtime… I try as always and
None but consecutively to reach for t he sky
Blood is cascading, I cannot arrest-
My eyes are kaleidoscopic and spiraling
Downward then upward
My lips blacken as my tongue forks outward hot as grease, spattering…
Serpentine, as is chartreuse as its mottled skin,
Tighter than a drum, gently tapping,
Sound accelerates then pounding erratically
Louder the decibels heightening
Eyes are spinning in a vicious circle around and around
Where they stop, nobody could even begin to imagine?
It hardly matters because even if my arm could
Reach out from the top of my head,
Grasping at eyes, those eyes-
Bloodshot as the irises, magenta as their pupils
Spinning with out stopping, arrested in space, spinthariscopic-
Whirling dervishes, I cannot reach, as mesmerizing as the day I perished inside, as Electrons spliced in time, abbreviated: less than a nanosecond-perhaps-

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poem by Claudia Krizay
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