The Cat and my Hat
I have this little Bengal
Who is a kind of Angel
He watches me all Day
Makes sure I don't go Astray
But my Little Cat
Is in Love with, my Raccoon Hat?
They sit together all day Long
As if nothing could go Wrong
They love each other So
If only the Cat would Know
That the raccoon Hat
Is not, 'another Cat'!
poem by David Darbyshire
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Talking PooH
I asked my friend
What do you call Cow PooH?
He said: Flap, or Cow Flop
I asked my friend
What do you call Horse PooH?
He said: Horse apples or Balls
I asked my friend
What do you call Rabbit PooH?
He said: Rapido Raisins
I then asked him
What is the capital of China
He did not know the answer
I said then to him
All you can talk about is Sh*t
poem by David Darbyshire
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Bounty Hunter
Big and fat,
as well as his wife.
Lots of gold,
their life, they have sold.
Searching each county,
for the price of the bounty.
Hunting a woman or man, caught
throw them in the back of the van.
What a life of trouble and strife,
constantly complaining, his wife.
Now saying under his voice:
I'll put a price on her head, if she doesn't clam up.
poem by David Darbyshire
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History I know Her
Our bygone is the future
The past follows every step into time
History I know her
She'll haunt us our whole lifetime
Remember long ago
The future seemed so bright
Yesterday has caught up to us
Tomorrow we'll have to fight
The past is getting bigger
Bigger than our future
Before tomorrow’s world is exhausted
We need to take care where we are headed
poem by David Darbyshire
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Jigger
Jigger was a fisherman
and only had one wish
he really really wanted
to catch a friggin Fish
he fished for 39 years
didn't even get a nibble
after all his tears
he mouth began to dribble
On one warm sunny afternoon
he drew out his rod, was late June
low and behold on his line was a fish
after, he saw it was dead,
he had only one more wish
that he would never catch another fish
poem by David Darbyshire
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The Snake Man
Slither and Slide
Along the ground they Glide
Looking for somewhere to Hide
And this is Worldwide
So in every little Hole
It's not always a Mole
So you have to have Control
Thats why we have the 'Snake Patrol'
It's the Snake Man
In his little Minivan
He'll russel them Out
We should not Stick About
The snakes were all Caught
And then they were Brought
Far far away
To Live another day
poem by David Darbyshire
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Sleep-Walking
Usually sleep-walkers
head straight for the fridge.
And what about sleep-talkers?
shouting from a bridge.
I heard sleep-walkers also float,
no sense in sleep-talking about a boat.
Sleep walkers don't really know their, there
if they come up to you, they can give you a scare.
Just leave them alone,
let them do what they got to do.
Put a lock on the Ice-box,
Sleep-Walkers, you can out-fox
poem by David Darbyshire
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My Plant is in a Cage
Some of my friends say,
I have green fingers.
I just plant the seed and pray,
and watch, as time lingers.
Grow they do, green and lush
Don't tell no one hush, hush.
cause in Holland we grow 'Mary Jane'
In U.S.A. and Canada it's not quit the same.
The green sage is all the rage,
So I put my green plant in a cage
Locked up tight, 'Motion Detector' on! .
In the morning, no plant will be gone!
poem by David Darbyshire
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Renate
Renate, came to work
one day
all dressed in Pink
she walked around the floor
and gave everybody a wink
the whole team started,
started to think
they wondered if we should
Invite Renate for a drink
But Renate is so Cool
and she doesn't play the fool
Just because I dress in Pink
does not mean I want a drink
ah but drink she does
and wears pink as well
and that's because
she feels so swell
poem by David Darbyshire
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Get Goin
It's a real cold Mornin
And I find it hard to get Goin
I left my warm, Snug, Bed
Must be out of My Head
I hope it was not a Mistake
But once, I'm up and Awake
It's a beautiful January Day
And I am finding it very OK!
I've worked all Day
Played half the Nigh
Find myself at Home
Zipped up Tight
In my Bed as I Lay
Tomorrow is another Day
Now I am, Snug and Warm
But in the Mornin I'll have to Perform
poem by David Darbyshire
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