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David Darbyshire

Little Horny Angel

In the heaven above was a little horny Angel
Now this Angel had been naughty, very naughty
And was going to be sent down to earth as a penalty
The angel would have to stay until it had learned it's lesson

Now this little angel had to fix it's thorn, to get re-born
The Horny Angel decided to go to the heart of all evil
The angel flew down to the bad-est part of Amsterdam
In the middle of the red light district, were all the horny ladies are

The angel went from door to door, hoping to help someone
But to the angels astonishment all was great in the red-light?
The angel found that they helped people to be happy, release
built up pressure inside that would explode normally, and hurt someone

So the angel flew back up to see the main man and tell him all
The main man listened and took note, but now it was his call
Well Little horny angel, I see a lot of presure inside this heaven
The little horny angel said: ' thats all sorted I open at seven'

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Heroes hide inside Everyone

Inside every person on earth hides a hero
Could be a caring mother and her loyal fellow
There everywhere these wonderful souls
The one with no name handing out bedrolls

Hero dads putting plasters on scrapped knee's
Boys and Girls who always say please
Friendly stranger who pays a pensioners heating bill
A university professor explainging about mans freewill

All the nieghbours coming together to assist
The people that fight for a good cause and persist
Someone who can cheer a sad person up
Special souls that save a cat or rescue a pup

One who gives part of there own wage to help another
Gives their own free time to be a lonely boys brother
Volenteers who risk there lives to save the whales
People who stand in line passing water pails

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An Awkward Lie

The course looks soft and silky
Perfectly manicured lying in wait
Fresh ball active on the tee
Every man anticipating ones fate

The sound was deafening from the crack of the drive
Bouncing down the fairway eyes following as if alive
Coming to a rest in the deep rough
Dropping his head now self conscious

Calmly he removes a card from the side poach
Caddy nervously contemplating the approach
Wrongly estimating his clubs heft
Looks of despair as it hocks to the left

Disappearing the crowd let out a sigh
Judge gazing at the awful tricky lie
Man against nature at its best
Now’s the moment to show the rest

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Patch-Up

His dog was home Alone
He didn't even have a Bone
He layed there, with big sad Eye's
Waiting for his master and his Lie's

His master Staggered In
Really stinking of Gin
Began to tell his Dog
He's late because of the Fog

Now the Dog began to Grin
He knew lying was a Sin
He looked at his Master
And saw a Big Disaster

The night was clear as a Bell
No fog for miles, as he could Tell
So his master did Lie
I guess this would be Good-Bye

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