Plum's Destiny
A little plum dropped from the tree
and struck a frog upon his knee.
The frog did hurt and cried a lot
the plum said Oops, I plum forgot.
Which wasn't altogether true
you see a plum is always blue
a frog however must be green
thus he can easily be seen.
So, folks, it truly stands to reason
that in the Fall, the ripening season
a bit of care would be advised
that way a frog is not surprised.
In any case, the knee did swell
the plum just stayed right where it fell,
so in an effort now to heal
the frog fell for the plum appeal.
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poem by Herbert Nehrlich
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Only The Best For You, Gina!
Lovely Gina ate cake with some icing
I was there, just to help with the slicing.
Took my eyes off the cake
which was one big mistake.
Well I found lovely Gina enticing.
So the slice was the shape of the Moon
and she called me a greedy buffoon.
So we ate it together
still discussing then whether
we ought to obtain a large spoon.
Full of cake lovely Gina got up
filled with Burgundy one coffee cup.
Then we washed down the cake
and went down to the lake
where I called her my burgundy pup.
So you see, when old geesers start dreaming
and imagining, lusting and scheming
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poem by Herbert Nehrlich
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The VIP Visitor
The Queen had visitors that day,
'twas Howard, John, head of Down Under.
She asked him 'would it be okay
if prior to the storm and thunder
which is expected early eve
that you and I, the Royal Queen
take with the carriage our leave,
to make the rounds and thus be seen.
The commoners enjoy the sight.
So they went off,8 shiny horses
she talked and Howard thought he might
bring up the subject of divorces
because he was a nosy man.
The Queen was steering with much skill
when suddenly, near number ten
the leading horse, his name was Will
released a cloud of toxic gas
which, in the company of thunder
had come out of the horse's ass
and scared the Aussie from Down Under.
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poem by Herbert Nehrlich
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Well Deserved, Tara
An ipod for Tara is the least they can do
but I'm sorry that no one would give me a clue.
Did she win it in England or the world as a stage
was her poem a lovesong or expression of rage?
There are few who send tingles across oceans of foam
from their gray and depressing small chambers at home.
But this girl is a treasure that has stayed in the shade
to watch regiments march until all prayers fade.
I do wish I could be that tall angel who would
serve and always protect her the best that I could.
I would hover and watch there at ten thousand feet
and my thoughts would be dreaming that some day we'll meet.
Now, I hope you don't get here an impression that's wrong
it's poetic in nature, like a nightingale's song.
As my mentor old Johann, used to ponti-fi-cate
do not keep in your praise, it will soon be too late.
poem by Herbert Nehrlich
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A Poet
There once lived in sunny Tweed Heads
a great poet who had many pets
from a crow who could talk
to a wombat who'd walk
over all of the poet's made beds.
And on weekends he welcomed a man
who brought with him a stainless steel can
it was full of the stuff
that is made for the tough
in the morning he didn't need bran.
Mr Fittock comes every week
and without him it would be so bleak
and on special free Mondays
he can dwell on his fun days
says the bible, hooray to the meek.
And when MY friend called Gentleman Jack
pays a visit to counterattack
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poem by Herbert Nehrlich
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Happy 90th - Abram!
It's a day we shall sing and be merry.
take a seat on the afternoon ferry.
Now Victoria bound
through a maritime sound.
There he is, with a small glass of Sherry.
Happy Birthday I say to the chief,
number 90 is just one more leaf
in the book that you wrote;
well you DO have my vote,
that I SHALL keep this limerick brief.
Let me guess, you are NOT eating cake?
In a pinch though you'd take a small flake.
With your nose in a book
and that far-away look,
all the gray cells are wholly awake.
So, from all of us, Happy Returns.
You can watch as the Mafia crowd learns
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poem by Herbert Nehrlich
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Cherokee Traditions
A very wise, and old tradition
passed on through many generations
concerns the rules of going fishing
in all the lands, of all the nations
be not to take all you can get,
let little ones go out and grow,
and do not use a fishing net
attached behind your boat to tow.
Since Nature knows how to provide
for all her people and her critters,
you must go hunting far and wide,
and of the wild beasts' springtime litters
you may take one, perhaps a pig,
raise him at home to feed the tribe.
Always think small and don't act big
and only rarely do imbibe,
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poem by Herbert Nehrlich
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Sherrie
While the masses, like auburn-eyed cattle
were engrossed in their meaningless prattle.
An opponent stood tall
with much spunk, all in all
and her spark then ignited the battle.
It was soon about matching our wits.
There were insults and other mean bits.
But when peace came at dawn
she would no longer yawn
but describe her formidable tits.
I am sorry to mention that word.
Just pretend you had really not heard
he who says that our chests
are the equal to breasts
is a very much ignorant nerd.
So I thank my opponent of old
who resides just like me in the fold.
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poem by Herbert Nehrlich
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Friday Night
I once dated an overweight girl.
She was cute and her first name was Shirl.
When we tried to make love
after push and much shove
she kept saying let's give it a whirl.
But the distance from me to her core
was extensive, and things did get sore.
So we had to abort
'cause he WAS way too short
yet she asked me try a bit more.
So I went out with someone so skinny
who was braless and only wore mini.
When we started our battle
there was pubic bone rattle
and her navel was truly an innie.
Well I went back to Shirl in a flash.
And discovered that Shirl had a rash.
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poem by Herbert Nehrlich
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Sugar And Spice And Fourteen Blind Mice
Sugar and Spice and fourteen blind mice
sat in a room way up in the barn.
the name of the cat was Sugar and Spice
fourteen blind mice, they were spinning a yarn.
As you can picture, the odds were unfair,
though none of the mice had been overly wise
a mad starving hunter to sit there and stare
planning the strategy of a surprise.
How can a cat catch so many at once?
Only with claws and a growling old gut
cats do not utilise swords, spears and guns
this one just sat on her soft furry butt.
The night was soon over and all things were the same
all the mice had been snoozing, unaware of the foe
in the cold of the morning now the cat sought to aim
its formidable powers like a young feline pro.
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poem by Herbert Nehrlich
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