Weston-Super-Mare
The sun is always shining
In Weston-Super-Mare;
At least it always has been
Whenever we've been there.
The beach is nice and sandy,
It's long and clean and wide;
The trouble is it's full cars...
Unless there is a tide.
We haven't been there too much
Because it's quite a drive,
We first must go to Taunton,
Then on to the M five.
It takes about an hour,
Depending on our speed;
Then when we're there and parked up
We usually have a feed.
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poem by John Carter Brown
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The Old Coal Fire
My brother and my sisters two
We used to spend some time,
Instead of going out to play,
Beside the fire reclined.
It burned so bright and seemed to me
An endless source of heat,
Of winter warmth and cosiness
That blazed beside our feet.
Hypnotized by dancing flames
In colours red and gold;
I used to love those childhood days
When I was not so old;
When I was innocent and green
And never seemed to tire,
When nothing mattered much to me
Sat by the old coal fire.
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poem by John Carter Brown
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It's No Fun
It's no fun when you're lacking in stature
When your body's deficient in height;
When your nickname is tiny, or shorty
Why, it keeps you awake half the night.
It's no fun when you're out with your buddies
And you go to the bar for a beer;
When the landlord shouts, 'Right then, who's next please? '
And you wonder, am I really here?
It's no fun when a light-bulb needs changing
And you try to effect a repair;
And you stretch, but experience tells you
That you'll STILL have to stand on a chair.
It's no fun when you look at your neighbours
And your eyes are as green as can be,
And you reckon it's all in the hormones
Saying, 'That's why they're taller than me! '
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poem by John Carter Brown
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Christmas Again
Christmas comes but once a year,
But when it does we parents fear;
The kids have got it sussed you see,
It's time to fleece both you and me.
The whole year round they plot and scheme,
They make their plans, they dream their dreams;
The list of goodies they'll receive
Is getting harder to believe.
No matter how we put them off
They only sneer and laugh and scoff;
'I want the best, and I deserve
To get it! ' boy they've got a nerve.
When I was young, and one of four,
One present thrilled me to the core;
I got my other bits and such,
But now the kids they get too much.
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poem by John Carter Brown
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Soon be Summer
It's quite peaceful here
Just sitting alone;
I've watered my seedlings,
They really have grown;
The wind in the trees
Makes a soft gentle moan...
It'll soon be summer now.
The robin's been watching me
Hoeing the bed;
Strutting around in his
Best crimson red;
Stabbing the border
And looking well fed...
It'll soon be summer now.
The blackbirds and thrushes
Are fighting again
On the lawn, where the worms were
Brought up by the rain;
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poem by John Carter Brown
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I Haven't got a Daughter
I haven't got a daughter
I've got a telly-blob;
Ping-pong balls instead of eyes
Crisps stuck in her gob;
Her brain on auto-pilot
That strange hypnotic stare;
Laughing at the advert's
While slouching in her chair.
The technicolour images
All battering her senses
De-sensitised this girl of mine
And shattered her defences;
Now television rules O.K.
She's got remote control;
Her world, a 24 inch screen
Sucking at her soul.
Flicking through the channels
And chewing at her nails,
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poem by John Carter Brown
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Hair Today - Gone Tomorrow
I shudder to think
What life would be like
If women, like men, started thinning;
No peace would be found,
Men would go underground;
There'd be wailing and grief,
There'd be grinding of teeth,
And that would be just the beginning!
Hair-driers and dyes
Would be laid to one side,
As experts were given the time
To find a solution,
To make restitution
By each and all means,
To repairing the genes
Accused of this dastardly crime.
Yes, I shudder to think,
As all women, as one,
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poem by John Carter Brown
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My Genes
My genes have just abandoned me
And taken off my son
To far exotic places
Looking for more fun.
They never even warned me
Or said a last goodbye
They thought that they knew better
And o'er the sea did fly.
It really came as quite a shock
This infidelity
But genes care not for feelings
Or nationality.
Their loyalty is suspect
They are quite devoid of spines
To put it impolitely they're
Two-timing little swines.
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poem by John Carter Brown
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Little Poem
Little poem - Lot's of joy
Happiness - A little boy;
Any troubles? - No indeed
Satisfaction? - Guaranteed.
Little poem - Lots of fun
Indians red - Cowboy's gun;
Nothing hurting - Dreaming sweet
Golden days - Life complete.
Little poem - Lots of woe
Complications - To and fro;
Heavy heart - Troubled night
Little lesson - How to fight.
Little poem - S. O. S.
Searching for - My happiness;
Nothing doing - Ticking clock
Beating heart - Heavy knock.
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poem by John Carter Brown
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Idiotic Idiom
The Anglo-Saxon idiom
Is a tax upon the brain
I mean, just what have cats and dogs
To do with heavy rain?
And if I'd like a cup of tea
(As often is my wish)
No problem, 'cause our kettle's
Never yet been full of fish.
Are people really 'all at sea'
When troubles they are braving?
And should men be commited
Just for laying crazy-paving?
You may have a funny feeling
Which can't be laughed about,
And how come something without legs,
Like money, can run out?
Yes English, to a foreign ear
Must seem a puzzling lingo,
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poem by John Carter Brown
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