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John Thorkild Ellison

Can't You Help Me Please?

Can't you help me please, I'm getting frantic!
The trouble, of course, is I'm too romantic;
Every minute of the day I think of you
As I wander about with too little to do,
I live for the times that we're together,
'Cos when you're not near there's no sunny weather,
Just rain and mist and cloudy skies
Bereft of the sunshine of your eyes,
There are things to do, but they don't matter,
I waste all my time in mindless chatter
Forever watching the minutes crawl past
Till we're reunited again at last!
It doesn't take a genius to realise
I'm struggling to gain an impossible prize:
I want you to love me. Without you my life
Is made up of turmoil and meaningless grief -
There's just no remedy and no relief.
I honestly don't know what to do!
I don't know WHY I'm addicted to you.
It's true, it's real, it's not science-fiction!

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Crimson Tears

The crimson tears of benevolent chimpanzees
Have mingled with the raindrops falling fom your eyes,
I've always loved you and I'm begging on my knees
That you won't con me with some ingenious disguise.

I need you now, I need you very much,
I nearly had a heart attack for you,
I need to feel your little breasts and touch
That virgin forest hidden from my view!

A monkey twists its chain of silver keys
And tells me what to see and what to do,
His laughter drifts like music on the breeze,
How can I weep when all I see is you?

the time has come when Romeo must kiss
His Juliet, and she must be his bride.
Don't treat him cruelly because he longs for this
Don't drive him to his final suicide!

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A Confession from the Jailhouse

I killed my brother in a dream
And heard my mother sob and scream
For me to stop and spare his life
And put away that carving knife.

My brother was an upright man,
The successful type who always can
Elicit praise from everyone
For all the good things they have done.

He never gambled, never lied,
And never showed a bit of pride
Though he achieved far more than most -
No, I never heard my brother boast.

He was his parents hope and joy
From when he was a little boy,
And yet I claim he was a thief
Who brought me so much pain and grief.

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A Traitor's Kiss

You light another fag
And watch the children play,
There is no black and white for you
Just endless shades of grey,
Did you really imagine
It would be any different today?
The maggot in your brain
Eats half your soul away
And there'll be no end of pain
However much you pray!

So go and find the priest
Confess what you have done,
'Cos you must admit at least
You laughed and had your fun,
It's in the nature of the beast
To laugh at everyone
And someone will provide
The bullet and the gun
To punish you for pride

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A Strange Disease

You make me dream of ghostly fleas
And bring policemen to their knees -
I have to say, because of this,
That loving you's a stange disease.

Sometimes you make me want to sneeze
Because I've smelt some mouldy cheese,
And then afar on distant seas
I hear your laughter on the breeze

I've seen a mousetrap in your eyes
And lots of mice, and more besides,
And yet you make me dream of fleas
By feeding me on bits of cheese.

Can you explain why you do this
And won't allow a single kiss
When loving you's a strange disease
That brings policemen to their knees?

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A Bloke Called Sid (Aggro-Man)

Because his day was rather dull
Sid kicked a tramp and broke his skull,
He liked to think that he was tough
And no-one dared to call his bluff
Except that day a guy called Geoff
Declared outright 'You're just a pouf! ! '
That ended in a bloody fight
But he felt really great that night,
He'd punched him hard and cracked his ribs
And put an end to his filthy fibs.
No-one was gonna call him 'gay',
Not if they wanted to walk away!
He quite liked girls but he left his wife
'Cos she always nagged him about his knife,
He'd got her pregnant anyway
And she needn't think he was gonna stay
And listen to some screaming kid
And a wife who hated whatever he did;
He'd got important things to do
Which wouldn't interest a c*nt like you,

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Micky Marlene

There was a man called Micky Marlene
Whose clothes were dirty though his hands were clean,
He said 'You'll never guess where I've been
Or the things I've done and the things I've seen

'I've walked this earth for many a year
And I've seen men's courage dissolve into fear,
I've laughed at their folly and not shed a tear
When I relaxed in the bar and swallowed my beer!

'I don't give a monkey for money or fame
And when it comes to sex I don't have any shame,
Religion is stupid and life's just a game -
There's no need for judgement 'cos no one's to blame!

'You may think me callous but I don't care;
If you're talking of suffering, well I've had my share,
I've been on my knees and uttered a prayer
But God is a figment - there's nobody there!

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Blood On Their Hands (Extended Version)

A politician told a lie
Which meant a soldier had to die -
His blood is crying from the ground
But the politician hears no sound,
He's safe and cosy far away
And hopes that they'll increase his pay.
You probably gave him your vote
But this is not a time to gloat.
He told us he was 'a straight kind of guy'
And that he'd never tell a lie.
You may forget the soldier's name,
But his parents know just who to blame,
Their son will never see tomorrow
And nothing can assuage their sorrow,
Life and death are not a game,
They're sick of Tony and his fame,
And I for one would like to see
An end to this insanity
Where life is made so mean and cheap
And men are slaughtered just like sheep,

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A Wonderful Little Green Pill (conversation and conclusion)

'I'm sorry to hear you're feeling ill -
Take my advice, there's a little green pill
That could make you feel better, even give you a thrill,
Go on, have another, but remember the bill! '

'Mmmn, that's nice, and I don't need an excuse
To indulge myself freely in substance abuse,
There are those who would say my morals are loose,
They won't listen to my reasons, so what's the use! '

'I'm glad to hear you're enjoying my cure,
The pain you have suffered is too much to endure,
These pills are the best, the ingredients are pure,
They'll do you no harm, of that I am sure! '

'Can you lend me a tenner? I'm needing my pill,
I need it so badly, I feel i could kill
To get the relief it's bringing me still,
Please, don't be a b*stard, just give me my pill! '

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An Inferiority Complex Involving Pork Pies

Why do you tell such awful pork pies?
All of us here can see through your lies,
If you once to the truth it would be a surprise,
But the Truth very often is a liar's disguise!

Perhaps you think you'll win our esteem,
We'll believe, after all, you're not what you seem,
We'll call you a hero, fulfilling your dream:
Wouldn't it be great if we fell for your scheme!

You'd better make peace with the person you are,
Try not to swagger when you walk to the bar,
Try not to boast about your second-hand car,
It's old and it's rusty and won't take you far!

It's a tragedy, really, that you feel so small,
You're short and you're puny and wish you were tall,
You'd like folk to come running whenever you call,
But when you cry out they don't notice at all!

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