Deadly Thoughts
Incripted and confined to the walls within your own mind. All seems dark although you see, you feel blind. Escape impossible Medulla forming jail bars, you trapped inside. Astute contemplation leads you to suicide, mental genocide. Synopsis failing to link making your cerebelum senses a stereotype. You define the category of self inflicted homocide. You died the day you failed to live coz your 'Alive' means being dead. Your reality has been reduced to a coma. Can't take this nomore, echoeing voices lingering in your mind. When the truth is you never took it at all, hence no energy to fight. Putting pen to paper, reciting hypocritical reasons of not being alive. But who am I to judge, I've never felt a need to die. You live a different life within yours, self surrogation. Mentally dead intellectual abortion. You no longer wanna live, you believe there's no reason. When cheating yourself out of life is commiting the ultimate treason. Maybe you don't want to die, you just afraid of being alive, but you being alive inevitably leads you to death. So you don't want to think coz you've already thought, the wrong thoughts. And you'd rather kill yourself in order to correct all your faults. You possess a deadly resume. Dreaming of nightmares that leave you in aray. Never take your thoughts for granted when they leading your astray, not everyone needs hero when your life is your own to save.
poem by Kgagamatso Chimelwane
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In The Matrix Of Life
When one stair goes up the other goes down.
Its like finding a corner within a circle.
You think by using your mind yet your mind thinks by using you.
You become a perplex conundrum when in retrospect you just a 1+1 math sum.
You've stole your whole life just for a frivolous randsom.
Its like being wed to oneself and yet you sign a prenuptial.
Driving on a freeway that has a stop sign.
Divorcing your thoughts just to have a division within your own mind.
Moving on parrellel lines, you look across and see your own mime.
Its like looking through a mirror yet the reflection is the sky.
But when you look through water you see a reflection of life.
How often can a tree grow without a stem.
If you open your mind to the possiblities, you realize a fish can drown.
Its like the physics of trying to understand virus behaviour without a host.
Probably impossible and possibility probable.
We follow a certain route of life
A script and every line.
But, what happens when one starts to adlib?
You change the course of life, redirecting every aspect.
The A's start from Z
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poem by Kgagamatso Chimelwane
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I'm Your Father And I'm Your Friend
I stay awake at night with bags under my eyes
Just to change your nappy and bottle feed you when you cry
Telling your mommy, don't worry go to sleep, I got this coz you my child
I reminice apon your arrival, trembling thoughts confused emotions dawned my stanurm
Journey transition moving from a boy to man
Its all been worth it, coz you the core ingredient to a master plan
I remember those tiny fingers and toes
You never cried, you were the perfect poetic show
I can't wait to teach you how to ride your first bicycle
And when you fall and become happy because I'm taking you to get your first stiches
Whilst your mom being angry at me for losing site of you, thats a perfect family picture
Or when you crush over your first teacher
I can't wait when you have your first girlfriend and we nagging you to meet her
And you treat her like a queen as you do your mom, remembering my words, ' all women are fragile creatures'
Respect and love her and she will turn you into a better man and a love believer
Kakanyo-Entle ' A Beautiful Thought'
Because having you has never felt wrong
Though you my son, I wish to grow up to be everything you are
That one special being amongst all, like the galaxy and a shooting star
I had a father in my mom
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poem by Kgagamatso Chimelwane
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A Girl
Imagination percieves all acronyms that build her. I see her walk pass, perfection reflection like sky through water. Being fed by the essence of her beauty umbilical cord reincarnated, as I drown in her sapphire eyes trully. Even though she looks not my way I find a way to see through her. A perfect inclination of true visualization. Her scent draws a path that leads you not astray, but into a sanctuary almost equivalent to that of a pray. She embodies true clannish a woman of charm and savoir vivre. One day I'll find words that will serenade her, or be like that kid and dream she's in trouble so I can be her saviour.... If dreams mark reality, then reality is a stance of non-factuality. She increases the pace of my heart beat to that of a lightning speed, and when she strikes, some call it danger, I call it being inlove... Indeed. Her smile telescopes heaven a place of comformity, saftey and prosperity. She's a home of celestial kingdom the one who hold my heart of love and freedom even through my wrongs with no reason. Wait! ... Did I tell you about the time she looked at me, I looked away, coz I know I'm not in her league and that's how much I respect her, really. Judge me not for you not a jury, I'm inlove with a girl I can't have and that kills me. Imagination profinity, I see me and her together like emotional poetry. After all I'm the master of my own destiny where she and I together, breathe the same breath like a single paired entity. She walks my way as I do hers simultaneously... 'Kgagamatso Kgagamatso, tshoga tshoga, damn was that a dream, mama why you had to wake me up'.... I promise not to stop till I meet you in reality.
poem by Kgagamatso Chimelwane
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Mpho She Was Named
Let me take u tru the story of a girl called Mpho
Lost both her parents in a car accident
An Angel beautiful, smart kind and decent
But her ordeal started when she moved in with her uncle
She neva thot life cant be much harsher
Cos all he eva did was rape and abuse her
She needed a way out an escape tunnel
Lifted herself up ran away
found herself in jozi the concrete jungle
A lonely soul in hell, she knew no one
She needed cash met a girl
Who told her the fast way to get wud be for her to sell her flesh
For Mpho it was neva an option so she started doing promotions
She couldn’t even pay her rent or let alone save a cent
The tragedy of her life was soon to manifest
One night out she decided to seduce a man
Starting to realize that reality needed her to have a plan
Slept with the man, tears dripping down her face
she thot she cud handle the pain
Feeling his thrust in her again and again
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poem by Kgagamatso Chimelwane
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At only 9 years old
At only 9 years old
At age you see your father as a hero
Reads you bedtimes stories and sings lullaby even in your dreams
Your night and shinning amour of a fortress in which you sleep
A friend when you have your mind to speak
But at nine years old, you learn life is cold
He is your pimp so as to feed his alcoholic need
When you are born your soul is of renaissance
But how abusive he is, it took no rocket science
A mother who was suppose to have a heart of paradise
And yet she stood aside as you where raped and vandalized
At only nine years old you tiny flesh ripped apart and sold
Filled with dirt and dressed with mold
By your own father you learnt how to hate a man
By your own mother you never really had a friend
As day in day out elderly man had a feast upon you breasts
With tears in your eyes you felt his thrust and heavy bosoms upon you chest
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poem by Kgagamatso Chimelwane
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A Letter for Mama
My mother heard from lil sis that I wont attend her funeral
She asked me to call her and explain y
But all I did was cry
How can I lay to a rest such a huge part of my life
If she has to go then whats the use of me still being alive
They say ashes to ashes and dust to dust
There is no way I’m letting you go not with all the memories we have from the past
Y cant life be something that last
And not one that ends and draws loved ones apart
When they make your coffin they shud make it a double 1 just like eleven
Coz I wanna be laid beside you on your trip to heaven
If life was a game of cards
Then u wud be the queen of my heart
Engraved as if carved on stone
U will live there forever and comfort me when I’m sad and alone
I’ll take care of lil sis and make sure her life is total bliss
Buy her even the little things like shoes and sox
Just like Beyonce said I’ll be her rock
Life is only worth living if u living it with a purpose
The purpose for me living was to make sure I build u and lil sis a true life fortress
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poem by Kgagamatso Chimelwane
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