Should I Trust Again?
everything i thought was great chashes,
it takes alot to be honest,
but, at the same time,
it hurts, the thing that was said,
everything seem so perfect,
than changes so quick,
one thing i didn't want to happen,
but, you take that chance,
when you fall for somebody,
it wasn't meant to be easy,
but, i'm sick of having short reliefe,
from this pain that i try to cover up,
only seem to come back out,
no matter how much you avoid it,
it don't seem to hide,
ain't it a shame,
i have this view on life,
because of everything that had happened,
will i ever trust again,
or are all the people i'm trusting?
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poem by Mona Martinez
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Memories Of Our Friendship
as we stray apart,
memories keep us close,
we talk once a month,
but when we do,
it feels like everyday,
you have this calm about you,
that make me myself,
everytime i talk to you,
best friends for love,
lovers family always thought,
what happened between us,
is what holds us apart,
it had nothing to do with you,
i stopped trusting,
the day somebody took away,
my innocents and trust,
though it been years,
i just found out,
sharing the reason why,
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poem by Mona Martinez
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Knowing I Will Never Be The Same
i know my life will never be the same,
and neither will i,
just the feeling i get,
makes me question every day,
people think it wrong,
i think about death,
you don't know the whole story,
what i go through from time to time,
just to seem fine,
and just to be me,
but appearantly that shouldn't be,
who i should be,
i was meant to be better,
to be like everybody else,
and think like them too,
along the way,
i found out i am different,
in ways i ust can't understand,
this is how god had made me,
to make mistakes,
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poem by Mona Martinez
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The Struggles In My Life Makes Me Who I Am
i am not weak,
just an emotional wreck,
life have gotten the best of me,
i can't tell what's rights,
what's wrong,
just that i'm confused,
emotions have taken over,
i have no control,
i hide the pain,
but it shows up in my eyes,
behind the smiles,
there is pain,
unable to share,
unable to let it out,
because to me,
it's a secret that is not mine,
but it effect me everyday,
it's my abuser secret,
which haunts me everyday,
why am i being so loyal,
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poem by Mona Martinez
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Last I've Cheched It Was Mine
i look back
who life is it?
you tell me things
but, do i have a say?
i don't get a word in
do you care how i feel?
lost and confuse
over the things you do.
i'm getting there.
i wish i can say the same about you,
i changed in ways,
i can't explain,
but, you remain the same.
never could accept what people had to say.
because you don't believe it true.
why you telling me,
all of these things?
don't i have a life?
last i've cheched i did.
but, you can't control yours,
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poem by Mona Martinez
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Loving the way you treat me
i can't believe i won't see you much,
now what am i going to do,
i like our time we spend together,
it always makes time go faster,
we always have a good time,
i'm starting to notice,
what some ppl around us notice,
that we use 'we' and 'us' alot,
but yet we won't get together,
we won't go on a date,
i feel like you want me,
but you also want to take it slow,
don't know why that drives me crazy,
maybe cuz no guy i ever dated,
ever wanted to take it slow,
or they didn't treat me,
as good as you do,
you make me feel like a princess,
like i can be a better person,
but instead i'm settling for less,
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poem by Mona Martinez
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What Else Do You Want?
how many ways,
do i have to say,
the way you make me feel,
i get butterflies in my stomach,
with every word,
that was written from the heart,
you make me feel,
the way i only felt once before,
not many people can make me feel,
the way i feel everytime we talk,
you seem to know more about me,
than i know about myself,
i like that about you,
you proving more and more,
that you not like most guys,
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poem by Mona Martinez
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Losing Myself In My Own Little World
it's funny i get lost in my own world,
and it one of the best thing,
everything is perfect,
i come back out,
and i hit reality,
that there was nothing wrong,
i was perfect just being me,
it's a fanasy i thought i wanted,
but as it turned out,
i was only being,
the person my abuser wanted me to be,
i'm better than that,
i'm not perfect at it,
but i'm the best that i can be,
i won't ever be perfect,
i can only be me,
and after everything i am going through,
that's ok with me,
i don't need to be anybody,
but myself,
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poem by Mona Martinez
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Will Anybody Understand?
what is this?
this hate i feel?
inside of me burning,
becuz of what i can't have,
will anybody understand?
a life that unfair,
only living for the
people you love.
am i crazy?
feeling like this?
or am i human?
people don't seem to see,
deep inside a heart is dying,
from all this pain,
that comes from this world,
will anybody understand?
what i have to do?
just to seem alright,
will anybody notice a sad girl,
just waiting for something better,
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poem by Mona Martinez
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Why Do Guys Choose Me?
i hate bringing ppl into my misery,
i feel like they don't deserve it,
why are they still here,
by my side suffering with me?
they can have such a better life,
than dealing with what they can say,
what they can do,
what's right, what's wrong,
it feels so wrong,
that they give up more,
to make me happy,
i like the attention,
but i hate feeling guilty,
it's almost like i'm waiting,
waiting for them to have enough of me,
and just leave,
am i really worth this much trouble,
when they can have any girl they want,
i don't really feel all that special,
i feel broken and unworthy of love,
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poem by Mona Martinez
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