Where Do I Belong Or Fit In?

where do i belong?
where do i fit in?
i can't be who i was,
people don't seem to care,
what the f#(k?
i'm not good enough
to get treated right?
i want this to be over,
i don't want to be in pain,
i want to live my life,
but, how?
when walking became a task,
because i can't walk as fast,
can't walk away from it,
all, so i wouldn't have to deal,
just let me go,
i can't do this anymore,
be this girl who is fine,
want to know why?
i'm not fine,

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poem by Mona Martinez
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A Message To Mom

i remember the day you left,
in a blink of an eye,
you just died,
what the hell happened?
life felt pointless,
i felt helpless,
things never change,
days goes by,
i feel the same,
remembering how much
you ment to me,
makes me cry,
you can't be by my side,
helping me each day,
to help me through,
i'm left finding out what to do,
having doubts along the way,
make me hate every day,
what i feel about you never goes away,
i just find other ways to spend them,

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poem by Mona Martinez
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Who Am I?

who am i?
i'm not the girl who is fine,
when i'm in pain,
it's a whole another,
who am i?
i'm not who you think i am,
if i was,
would i think suicide is the way to go?
who am i?
i'm a girl who make wrong desidions,
but, does that make me human?
who am i?
i'm a girl who looking for a way out,
of this hell people call life,
haven't found my reason to stay,
am i giving up way to easy?
cuz i'm sick of being in pain,
and people seem to tell me,
i might have to deal with this the rest of my life,
if that the case, can i just end it?

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poem by Mona Martinez
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Friendship Part 2

hello......... my goshhhhh.
she made me say my gosh and blush
for she said im fitting of her luscious heart.
she made me grin and smile, hop and skip
i promise you if you do, in safe I'll keep
it, protected in mine.
butterflies in my stomach,
because i feel your words are true,
do i take that chance i'm afraid to take,
because you know what to say,
to make me feel safe in every way,
my heart skips a beat,
when you tell me through poetry,
it's the sweetest thing i heard from a guy,
could that be why i'm falling?
you speak from the heart,
rather than just the mind,
if i had to tell you how i feel,
this could take all day,
you showed me it's okay,

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poem by Mona Martinez
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Say What You Want

aug,14,2010

to you i don't matter,
i'm a failure you don't have to accept,
i'm crazy and insane,
to do the things i've done,
i'm not as important as you are,
cuz you feel you are at the top,
i'm everything you want to be,
because you always play it safe,
you let people take advantage,
but pick on me cuz you think you can,
i find myself mature for letting things go,
but, when you see me,
i'm like your worse nightmare,
i hold to my word,
i thought you do the same,
but by the looks of it,
you thought i have forgotten,
everything we talked about,

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poem by Mona Martinez
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I Have A Couple Of Things To Say

how do you do that?
make everything seem fine,
say words from the heart,
that make me feel as if i'm your only one,
when you mess up,
you not afraid to admit that you were wrong,
like a real guy should do,
you make me feel safe in every way,
you bring a smile to my face,
when i'm having a bad day,
you open up to me,
when all i want is out,
you taught me to believe in god more,
because he will help me through,
through all the bad times,
that seem like a bad dream,
but, you gave me hope,
and made me think about my other choice,
because of you, i still fight everyday,
to remain alive and live out my dreams,

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poem by Mona Martinez
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Will It Get Better?

why do i try to prove myself to you?
everything is never what you want.
what the hell that about!
i don't know why.
but, what do i got to prove to you?
i should be trying to prove to myself,
so why am i paying attention to your comments.
it don't make sense, that i spend most of my time
thinking of them.
it just brings me down.
is that what you want?
it seem to make you happy.
does it matters what the fudge i want! ! ! ! ! !
fudge no, it never did! ! ! ! ! ! ! !
cuz to you I'm always in it for something.
did it ever occur to you i want something more.
fudge no! ! ! ! !
to you that asking on way to much.
what is it going to take?
to have back the life i had.

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poem by Mona Martinez
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Why Bother?

i hate my life,
i just want to end it,
it not going the way i want,
why should i stay?
i don't feel like i belong,
i don't feel people want me around,
so much going through my head,
like which way should i go?
which would work the best?
which way can i go,
so i won't return to this life?
i hate it that much,
these are the questions that run
through my head,
who will care?
maybe just my family,
but, that's it?
why should i carry around so much pain?
i'm sick to my stomach thinking about it,
i'm stuck in a life i no longer want,

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poem by Mona Martinez
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I'm Still Going To Continue To Be Me

stop trying to change me,
into who you want me to be,
i don't want to make,
the same mistakes you did,
look where it has gotten you,
you don't like it,
you so unhappy with your life,
that you trying to make me,
just as unhappy,
misery loves company,
let me grow and be myself,
stop trying to hold me back,
just because you afraid,
to chase your own dreams,
i don't mean to sound mean,
but it true,
let me make mistakes and learn,
our lives are not the same,
what you don't understand,
i might understand,

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poem by Mona Martinez
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Would You Tell Me I'm Wrong?

would you tell me i'm wrong?
for having mixed emotions in my head,
don't know what to do,
mind says one way to fix the problem
heart says another to way to fix the problem,
which way do you go?
can't stand the pain,
or that i now have to deal with it,
would you tell me i'm wrong?
for not wanting to stay?
friends and family,
but, is that enough?
to remain strong, till i find a way through?
would you tell me i'm wrong?
because pain make urges,
strong urges that make the mind take over,
and say i don't care,
let me have what i want,
would you tell me i'm wrong?
because i'm not the girl,

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poem by Mona Martinez
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