Lol
how well do you know the girl behind the mask?
everything you see,
is not what you get,
all the secerts she hides
deep inside
because people
just don't seem to care,
about all of the hard ship,
that i seem to have to carry,
can you relate?
to a life that gotten harder,
would you be open to learn the secerts,
that are under the mask,
because what you see,
is not what you get,
what you see
may be a happy girl,
but, deep down her dreams are crushed,
can you underderstand?
that all she wants is to be normal,
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poem by Mona Martinez
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Giving In To The Pain
world not all that it seems,
it's a cruel place,
where things happen,
without an explanation,
i use to think there was a reason,
to why things happen,
now...i don't know what to think,
nothing is making sense,
i want a way out,
but don't know how,
i'm sick of dealing with pain,
it something i can't control,
but, it seem to stick to me like tape,
in some shape or form,
i think of one way out,
just to be free,
from this life i call prison,
nothing seem to change,
life still gets the best of me,
sometimes family can't understand,
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poem by Mona Martinez
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Everything you were to me
you were my rock,
my best friend,
not a day go by,
that i don't think of you,
as days continue to pass,
i still have good memories,
of all of the fun times,
we had together,
always laughing, playing and joking around,
sometimes i miss those days,
but it's ok,
i know you watching from above,
with a smile on your face,
cheering me on every day of the week,
you were my mother,
it don't get no better than that,
you were a great mom,
one who was always there when i needed you,
one to put me back in my place,
when i was roaming a little free,
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poem by Mona Martinez
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Afraid To Show What's Really Going On
how do you open up?
when you don't know how?
i mean where do you start?
people want to know what's going on,
how do you let them in?
can they be trusted?
for the way you feel?
just want to hide,
don't want to face it,
but you know you have to,
scared of what might happen,
but, is it for the best?
do we all need to reach out for help,
when we need it the most?
afraid to show your weakness,
because it just not you,
but, people you care about want in,
do you let them in?
even though you afraid they might be hurt,
about what you have to say?
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poem by Mona Martinez
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Coming To Terms With Reality
maybe i was wrong,
for everything i thought,
nobody perfect,
i just wanted to excape life,
couldn't handle what god gave me,
giving up became my only choice,
until people showed they cared,
in more ways than i can say,
make me realize,
i still have more to fight,
giving up was no longer a choice,
there was other ways to go,
i just to blind to see at the time,
all i seen, was life that became unfair,
it didn't seem worth living anymore,
if you can only feel my pain,
you would understand why i thought,
the way i did,
stuck living life without a mother to guild you,
living with pain that became part of your life,
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poem by Mona Martinez
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Words are not just words
i'm confused and lost in my thoughts,
but what you said,
really had affected me,
i felt like a prize ppl want,
once they get it,
there will be nothing else,
that they would want,
never knew words can hurt so much,
words were how my abuser,
knew how to get me to stay,
all of the lies he told,
it was so easy to believe,
becuz they hurt,
they still haunt me,
i admit that i still compare ppl,
from time to time,
it what i need to work on,
i hate that when somebody do,
one wrong thing,
i hold them accountable,
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poem by Mona Martinez
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Emotions are confusing at times
as i'm going through emotions,
sometimes i can't seem to figure out,
which are from the past,
and which are in the moment,
i don't like to make decisions in the moment,
unless i really have to,
i hate feeling controlled,
it's the worse feeling in the moment,
but at the same time,
i get, being controlled,
and somebody caring deeply confused,
it's one of those feelings where,
people pretend to care,
so it hard trying to detangle,
the liars from the honest people,
most likely,
it's the people who was truthful,
who you start to question,
in the past,
i lost that trust,
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poem by Mona Martinez
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Will You Be Able To Understand My Last Option, Or Just Tell Me I'm Wrong?
i can tell you how much i hate my life,
and still you would not understand my stuggles,
everyday i find myself in a place i don't like,
and can't seem to excape,
i wonder when i can find peace,
just to live my life,
to enjoy it like i use to,
but now it became hard,
my cloulds are gray,
with lots of rain,
and it seems like nobody even cares,
when i scream at the tops of my lungs,
it's like nobody hears,
they missing what's in front,
without knowing how to help,
it's like i'm trapped in a place,
i don't want to go,
but, nobody knows how to help,
lost and confused,
where my only option,
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poem by Mona Martinez
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Pressure To Be Someone I'm Not
i may not truely know you,
but you make me want to be,
a better me,
i know i deserve better,
i just didn't want to leave the confort,
of being somebody,
other than i know,
we haven't talked long,
but i felt that you been more real,
than anybody in my life,
you listen to what i have to say,
you understand kinda of what i'm going through,
you show me that it's okay,
to let a certain part of me shine,
the part some ppl take for granted,
as i open up,
i'm being the real me that some don't accept,
they can't understand the pain,
and the struggles i go through,
day after day just to appear happy,
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poem by Mona Martinez
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I'm Tired Of This World
i'm lost in a world,
that starting to not make sense,
i wish ppl will stop telling me,
stuff is normal,
when in my world,
it's very painful,
for a selfish prick,
to mess up your learning times,
i just wanted to be accepted,
but now it don't seem like ppl accept me,
they just don't see,
why i'm so different,
and sometimes everything they want,
i feel like at times,
i am either this sexual being,
and other times i am a nun,
that would be happy,
in a world without sex,
ppl i want to understand me,
are ppl who just don't get it,
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poem by Mona Martinez
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