Avoiding Life

what can i do?
can i back out?
i don't want to talk,
you don't need to know,
but, at the same time,
running away from your problem,
only causes more,
is that what you want?
to go down that same road,
because you want to hide,
and pretend there's nothing wrong,
you know that's the wrong choice,
but, it don't help you,
what can you do?
everything is too much,
feeling presured to talk,
it something you have to do,
but, in the back of you mind,
it's the hardest thing to do,
but, really,

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poem by Mona Martinez
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There Are Always Other Guys Besides You! ! !

why be who you want,
when it not me?
who am i pleasing really?
i wanted to fit in,
and be what you wanted,
but you only wanted one thing,
to be turned on by the things i say,
that memerizes you into your zone,
what do i get out of it,
when i''m not who i want to be,
i let you sweet talk me,
only cause i was alone,
i lost my self respect,
by not remaining true,
to who i was,
i slowly started to realize,
i'm better than that,
than who you try to turn me into,
because i know who i am,
and what i'm worth,

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poem by Mona Martinez
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I'm in too deep

i need to know this is real,
and that you are not just messing,
with my heat and soul,
i know you feel it too,
i like you,
just as much as you like me,
don't mess with my heart,
it will break into a million pieces,
if i were to find out,
you treated it as a game,
a game to prove you were the man,
it will hurt me deeply,
i'm not just any girl,
you can just throw away,
i am one of a kine,
i hope you can see,
before it's too late,
what we have is special,
it's real,
it would be a bad thing to watse,

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poem by Mona Martinez
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How You Make Me Feel

when i'm with you,
i'm afraid to show who i really am,
i know i act like a child at times,
but if you only knew my past,
you will understand why,
i like you,
i just don't know how to tell you i do,
i know you pick up on hints,
it's funny how you pay attention to detail,
the songs i don't like,
and won't play when i'm around,
i think it kind of sweet,
at times i can't read you,
don't know if that a good thing,
or a bad thing,
i like the chase,
love your confidence,
love you voice,
i think i'm falling for you,
but i'm scared to open up.

poem by Mona Martinez
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Losing Yourself

losing yourself can be hard,
you do things you not proud of,
just to try and find the person you've lost,
nobody understands what you are going through,
you stay to yourself because people only critize,
what you do wrong,
and what you could be doing,
just to leave you more lost,
than you start to come to reality,
that they don't know you,
like you know yourself,
because all through this,
you've found yourself,
and because of the challenges you've faced,
that have only made you that much stronger,
than you've ever thought possible.

4-16-09

poem by Mona Martinez
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Since When Have My Life Became Complicated?

when did my life become complicated?
i remember the good old days,
where everything was perfect,
now that it changed,
i don't know what to do,
first it started with losing my mom,
later it became learning,
life is never easy,
when it comes to accepting,
all of yourself,
everything you believe would change,
just became a reality,
that this is your life you was dealt,
the best thing you can do,
is live it the best you can,
life only becomes complicated,
when you give up the power,
to continue and fight through life.
Copyright © 2009
7-2-09

poem by Mona Martinez
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There's Never A Way To Say Good-bye To Love Ones

running out of ways to deal,
when all i have is pain,
nagative thoughts comes to my mind,
none which are agreeable,
just let me be selfish,
i'm sick of this,
who wants a life filled with pain,
my family just can't understand,
how unhappy i am,
because they want me to stay,
but, can't understand what i go through,
just to seem fine in front of the niece and nephews,
that's why i'm planning carefully,
not to leave many broken hearts,
when i leave this life,
but i guess there is really no right way,
to say good-bye to the people you care about..

poem by Mona Martinez
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What Is Love?

what am i getting myself into?
i settle for less,
rather than being the best,
cuz i belive i'm not good enough,
for the person i am with,
what is good enough?
i play it safe so i won't get hurt,
but it happens anyways,
i guess you can't plan it out,
like i would like,
if love was that easy,
we all would exprience it,
but love is hard,
and sometimes blind,
love should not hurt,
in any shape or form,
would you call it love?
nobody perfect,
you only get one chance,
so don't waste it,

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poem by Mona Martinez
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One Second

in that one short second,
you can forget what's important,
that can make the differences,
between life and death,
misjudgement can make life feel,
unimportant in that one second,
as your thoughts get deeper,
temptations become stronger,
thinking of ways to end you life for good,
cause life seems like a pain in the a$$ right now,
but, that still don't mean i'm wrong,
cause i'm thinking to end my life,
all it takes is for you to forget,
and to feel unimportant to give up on life,
when it don't seem like a good enough reason,
to go on with your life.

6-26-09

poem by Mona Martinez
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I'm grateful for having you in my life

i was a girl who judged,
until i met you,
your personailty,
is colorful,
just the way i like it,
you opened me up,
to new things,
and pushed me,
when i needed you,
set me straight,
when i got out of line,
made me the girl i am today,
living for the future,
no longer for the past,
making everything seem possible,
even during the times i wasn't sure,
like believing in god again,
after everything that happened,
i never thought we will still remain friends,
but, god works in mysterious ways,

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poem by Mona Martinez
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