Stress
My heart bleeds
Yet I cant shed a tear
No matter what I'm going through
I feel the tears that are falling from my heart
My heart aches from the pain
The pain that I go through everyday
The pain an eighteen year old shouldnt have to feel
So much to say, but how do I say it
The stress has me pullin my hair out
I try and explain my pain
Yet know one is around to listen
So I scream and yell at myself
WHY? ?
Is my question to everything
Never do I have an answer
Why cant people just sit down and pay attention?
Now that I dont have anyone
I put my mask on
The mask that blocks off all emotion
So I cant feel the pain anymore
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poem by Ashley Olson
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Sister's' For Life
No pain is harder
Then you not being here
If I had it my way
I would of went with you
Because nothing makes me happier then you
Even when we argued it was never serious
I could never ever hurt you
I dare someone to hurt you
I would go to jail for you
I would do anything for you
I went from seeing you everyday
To conversating over the phone or computer with you
It's not the same with you not here
But as long as your safe and happy
Then I'll be just fine
My friendship with you
Wait screw it I look at you like a sister
Your family to me
Your family even treats me like family
I hope you understand
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poem by Ashley Olson
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First Thoughts
So here I go
Im just going to write whatever comes to mind
The first thoughts in my head
Is dame its like 5: 30 in the morning
And I havent gone to sleep yet
Thank god I dont have to work tomorrow
My eye lids are getting tired
I keep on yawning it just wont stop
I can see the sky now
I sun is starting to rise
Aww the fresh smell of morning dew
The birds are cherping
The newspaper is thrown at my door
Startles my dogs they bark twice
Lay back down and lay there head to rest
Oh how that looks so comfortable
I just want to lay down
Yet I cant get the motivation to get up
Maybe ill just sleep right here
Rest my head on my desk
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poem by Ashley Olson
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Go Ahead And Run
Everyday is the same ol thing
I still do the same ol thing
Time keeps on going by
Yet I'm still stuck in the past
While I watch everyone move on
I still sit and remember all the things I use to do
All the things I got away with
All the people I use to hang out with
All the wrongs we did and laughed about it
Now when I try to go forward
It seems like I get pushed back
What's holding me back?
Why cant I just move on?
I watch all my friends leave me
Especially my loved ones
I start to fall for someone
Next thing I know
Poof they gone
Is it me?
Are they running away from me?
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poem by Ashley Olson
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It's Just Not For Me
I've finally figured out that love doesn't work for me
I get hurt everytime
My feelings get crushed everytime
I've had enough of this
Love just isn't for me
Im not opening up anymore
This store is closed for business
Im not letting my emotions show anymore
I've never shead a tear for anyone
What you thought I was going to cry over you?
You've got to be kidding me
Yeah ill admitt i was in love
But i've had my heart broken before
So this is not nothing new to me
Im not going to lose sleep over you
Im not going to think about what we could of been
Im not even going to think about you period
Once it's over its a done deal
Dont come crying back to me
I dont ever give second chances
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poem by Ashley Olson
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Split-Feelings
I'm sorry that it was you in that crash
I'm sorry that you got hurt
I'm sorry that you're in the hospital
I'm sorry that I can't be there
I'm sorry that I can't help you through this
I'm sorry that I can't talk to you everyday
I'm sorry that it happened like this
I'm sorry for every arguement we got into
I'm sorry for any stress I may of caused you
I'm sorry that I couldnt give you all I wanted to
However
I'm happy that we met
I'm happy we became best friends
I'm happy that we spent a lot of time together
I'm happy for all the good times we shared
I'm happy for everything we've gone through
I'm happy that we use to talk everyday
I'm happy for spending ISS with you
I'm happy for being able to have a class with you
I'm happy that we used to skip classes together
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poem by Ashley Olson
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Love HURTS
I want to cry
I want to hurt myself
I hate myself right now
It feels like im blaming myself
Is it my fault?
No it couldnt of been
I love her so much
I hate love cause this is pain
All these mixed feelings
I dont know what to do
How could she hold it in all this time
I know I messed up
But so did she
She made me feel like shyt all this time
When she went and did the samething
But worse she messed with a man
That's just wrong
I still cant even forgive myself
And to know she did the same thing
I came out and told her the truth
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poem by Ashley Olson
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Once Strangers
We were once strangers
Strangers that went to school together
Which lead to a class together
It was nothing special at first
I brought winterfresh gum for you everyday
It use to be your favorite gm
Last period use to be my favorite time
Especially on Tuesday's
You always had a new story
A story that was about your life
Everyday you where there nothing bad could happen
Soon school ended and you went to Waterbury
Once in awhile you would come back to Torrington
However I still called you everyday
10th grade came by and you weren't there
Had to go through 10th and 11th be myself
You came back for 12th grade
I was the happiest person in the world
I had my best friend back
Now you've graduated and moving on
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poem by Ashley Olson
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Kids
Early mornings late nights
Playing baseball all day
Follow by hide n go seek
We always had fun
We always seem to get into trouble
We were like two peas in a pod
You were the first one I ever kissed
I dreamed it would always be just me and you
I dreamed that you would be my first
Then we started getting older
My friends liked you
I admit I was jealous
Then again I hooked you two up
We started to grow apart
Nothing was ever going to be the same
I didn't have anyone anymore
Then I hardly talked wit you
We finally went are seperate ways
Now after years go by you show up
Right out of the blue
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poem by Ashley Olson
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Goodbye
Im supose to say goodbye
But im not ready yet
Everyone is telling me your in a better place now
How is it a better place?
Your not here with me anymore
What can be better than that?
They say your watching me from above
They say that you would of been proud of me
How do i know this is true?
I cant communicate with you anymore
Im the one doing the talking
I dont get no reply from you
I thought you were watching over me
How come you cant reply back to me?
You use to tell me
That you would always have my undivided attention
Yet I dont hear nothing from you
Why did you have to go?
Im not done growing up yet
I still need your help
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poem by Ashley Olson
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