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Chuck Audette

Queens over Aces

With women, he hears
a gambler's call
and wishes, sincere
to 'bed it all'

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Haircut Payback

My wife cuts my hair
my hippie days are done
the kitty below my chair
thinks the severed locks are fun

she's a stupid one alright
as my hair upon her falls
does she think she is
the belle of this hair ball?

I smile at a thought
and resist on yelling SCAT
after all, it isn't often
that I
...shed on the cat

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Unfortunate Dog Names

John knows that his dog's name
is just a wee bit silly
but he giggles just the same
when he says 'Please pet my Willy'

Sue's got a dog named 'Karma'
and when it mis-behaves
she says it's just 'Bad Karma'
(but good karma on other days?)

Then there's the dog of our new neighbor
we can't help but laugh a lot
whenever she opens her door
and hollers... 'Come Spot! '

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That Snow Poet (that's no poet?)

Ahhh, the fresh canvas of new fallen snow
and the promise of beer-bloated bladder
no pencil, but my pen is, well, you know..
(to a true poet, size doesn't matter)

I claim nothing such, but this mighty oak
begs for a sonnet or three
so upon it I plant acorny joke
and spout forth my pee-a-tree

and I saved some ink, too, for the crisp clean ground
and my rhymes were sharp and biting
but my publisher says a deceit they have found
for it was my wife's handwriting!

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An Ode to Anna Russell, On Her Birthday

here is an ode to Anna Russell
with a wriggly jiggly bum that is really all muscle
and with a mind that is dancing all of the time
she's a tequila mockingbird with a twist of lime

tipsy in her highest heels
Paul Newman yet appeals
an optimist with endless hugs
(except for certain types of bugs)
she'd never live in that little town
and red letters unwanted don't get her down
proud Mom and a hardy Scot
slender dreams and broken heart
blank pages don't cause her fear
she leaves us all with a perfect tear
honest truths written beautifully
many lovers she has - of her poetry
And if you haven't read her stuff
you've been warned - fair enough
get on over, hurry and see

[...] Read more

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At the School of Sternness

at the School of Sternness
there's a class on 'How to Frown'
Ms. Leech doesn't like me
and called me the class clown

when we did the lesson
on '20 Different Sneers'
I descended into trouble
for laughing down the stares

oh yes, I guess - I could wrinkle my brow
with the best of them
but my eyes would twinkle, somehow
while I sang the funeral hymn

Mr. Jenks says now my glower power
is no longer up to par
he's perplexed, 'cuz my aptitude tests
showed that I could go far

[...] Read more

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An October Night (Halloween Poem)

the wind whispers
a wary warning
There was plenty, still
early this morning

These primal urges
are hard to fight
an unholy diet
a dark appetite

The pavement scrapes
with scuttling leaves
I'll pull the drapes
and hope to deceive

The moon suffocates
in ominous clouds
shut off the lights
heart beats too loud

[...] Read more

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