The Purple Cow
I NEVER SAW A PURPLE COW,
I NEVER HOPE TO SEE ONE;
BUT I CAN TELL YOU, ANYHOW,
I'D RATHER SEE THAN BE ONE!
poem by Gelett Burgess
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The Lazy Roof
The Roof it has a Lazy Time
A-Lying in the Sun;
The Walls, they have to Hold Him Up;
They do Not Have Much Fu
poem by Gelett Burgess
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My Feet
My Feet they haul me Round the House,
They Hoist me up the Stairs;
I only have to Steer them, and
They Ride me Everywheres!
poem by Gelett Burgess
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The Purple Cow: Suite
Ah, Yes! I Wrote the 'Purple Cow' --
I'm Sorry, now, I Wrote it!
But I can Tell you Anyhow,
I'll Kill you if you Quote it!
poem by Gelett Burgess
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The Floorless Room
I Wish that my Room had a Floor!
I don't so Much Care for a Door,
But this Crawling Around
Without Touching the Ground
Is Getting to be Quite a Bore!
poem by Gelett Burgess
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On Digital Extremities
I'd Rather have Fingers than Toes;
I'd Rather have Ears than a Nose;
And As for my Hair,
I'm Glad it's All There;
I'll be Awfully Sad, when it Goes!
poem by Gelett Burgess
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A Woman's Reason
I'm Sure every Word that you say is Absurd;
I Say it's All Gummidge and Twaddle;
You may Argue away till the 19th of May,
But I don't like the Sound of the Moddle!
poem by Gelett Burgess
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The Goops
The meanest trick I ever knew
Was one I know you never do.
I saw a Goop once try to do it,
And there was nothing funny to it.
He pulled a chair from under me
As I was sitting down; but he
Was sent to bed, and rightly, too.
It was a horrid thing to do!
poem by Gelett Burgess
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Table Manners
THE Goops they lick their fingers,
And the Goops they lick their knives;
They spill their broth on the tablecloth-
Oh, they lead disgusting lives!
The Goops they talk while eating,
And loud and fast they chew;
And that is why I'm glad that I
Am not a Goop-are you?
poem by Gelett Burgess
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Psycholophon
Twine then the rays
Round her soft Theban tissues.
All will be as She says,
When the dead Past reissues.
Matters not what nor where,
Hark, to the moon's dim cluster!
How was her heavy hair
Lithe as a feather-duster!
Matters not when nor whence;
Flittertigibbet!
Sound make the song, not sense,
Thus I inhibit!
poem by Gelett Burgess
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