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God Diaries

Hell Bent (Part I)

Once upon a time…or was it a nursery rhyme…
A fable to unveil the hidden mysteries of this life
Good Intent met with me
In the realm of my uncertainty
Proposing a theory built on peace, love, and mercy
And all it would cost is everything

I remember the day the rains came
When the deep cold gray took the place of the sun and all her rays
Just after I erased the colors of my sunrise sky
That I could blend with the earth tones until I muddied my shine
To right the wrongs I was told were growing on my insides

I remember hearing the judgment call sound from the lower depths
Echo through the underground caverns in the land of Good Intent
Through a makeshift spirit door
I crept in like all the rest
To lay my soul down upon the alter floor
Where I impaled myself upon the Theory's sword

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Joan and Romeo's Juliet

Once upon a time,
There was a Romeo and a Juliet
But Juliet was really Joan
who left Romeo to lead the captives to victory
Then captured and put on trial for heresy
After judgment was rendered, but before being burned at the stake,
a peasant girl loosened Joan's chains and won her heart
They Escaped to France to
live happily ever after in eachother's arms

Romeo got elected to congress
And as he rose in power,
He set out to win back Juliet
Only to find that his efforts were in vain
So on one very dark day,
He stole Juliet's lover away…

Joan offered ransom for her lover
Romeo gave a counter-offer
And in France at sunset

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Two Girls Apart

I could barricade the entrance to my castle arms
But no matter
Your stronghold of indifference easily cancels out
The beating within
I may not know what or where,
Or how or why
But I know to read
That which is written on your walls inside

So I leave
Your aching shoreline
In search of peace

I test the waters to see if it will hold
I measure the waves to see if it's safe
My tethered insides giving me rope burns as I try
In earnest to row past the swimmers
And their desire to reach you
Unnoticed
As if people leave you

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Promises to Trade

I'd plant you a thousand roses in the finest of gardens at the edge of a hill
Overlooking the biggest and bluest of oceans set on the greenest of fields
If only you wouldn't go

I'd bake you the biggest and fluffiest chocolate cake with less than 72% cocoa frosted with the fluffiest white frosting with no counted calories or msg or other bad things
If only you wouldn't go

I'd clean all the linoleum floors with the finest toothbrush and wash all the sinks with the softest of cotton and vacuum the dog and polish your furniture with rare organic oils found deep in the jungle and cook every thanksgiving meal from now until eternity - and every dinner too…
If only you wouldn't go

I'd talk with you for hours and hours about giving up sugar, organic gardening, the latest Doctor Mercola fads, essential oils, and aromatherapy…and I swear I wouldn't utter one syllable or sound about politics, religion - or dad.
If only you wouldn't go

When I think of you leaving, my lungs stop their breathing, my heart stops all beating, and my eyes stop their seeing because the oceans and waves make their home in my eyes and the air turns to concrete and my mind loses track or what day or what time and sees only a series of yesterdays…
So, you see, you can't leave

I can stomp my feet with childish insistence and search for your cure with death defying earnest, but all that I do is trip and freeze up, feel my breath catch and get caught because oh my God I can't stand to see you in so much pain...

If I can't slay the monster that is stealing your laughter, your happiness and hope in a happy ever after then I swear to God I'll kill it with love…

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Hell Bent (Part II)

Part II

I kiss the dirt filled pavement floor of my spirit war
Imprisoned by my own understanding
I grope for reasons to lift my eyes to search the sky and ensue this gasp like breathing
I try to hold up high those eternal things
With untethered soul ties and a faith that keeps breaking
I fail to find
The purpose
That will hold this rhythm inside
This aching chest of mine
But I still try

I run head long into a thick wall of rising flames
I crash blistered and broken, angry that my soul remains unchanged
I hurl myself against the Hell's cast iron gates
I howl into the darkness of this spirit war in a full bloody rage
Intent on destroying my soul, mind, and faith
That I might still be saved

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