Ode to TMZ

OJ, Britney, Paris, Lohan
Among the troubles in number
Iraq, Jena, Iran, Pakistan
Who is more important?
15 minutes times ten to tenth power
And did not mean that
Ritchie, Miss South Carolina, Caitlin Upton, who struck out
At the bat,48 seconds of strikes
TMZ you will broadcast your wares
Soon to be in September
Across million of light-years in space
Only to have ET’s (not entertainment tonight)
Wondering what kind of intelligence is out there.

9-22-07

poem by Joe Rosochacki
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Red Lobster Tonight

Shrimp on the Kosher Bar-b-que
The thought of kosher water went out the door,
When a Rabbi from New York said 'No More'.
Apparently that one shrimp, a small shrimp,
a shrimp could possibly be
was in the water?
After the water was treated at the water facility.
It was uproar that swelled upon the CHASSIDIC community,
For if they drank from water that shrimp touched
they've violated
The Rules of the Torah,
Oy Vay!
They must atone forever and a day.
But need not fret For the Lord has given mankind,
All that is dear,
For example, the endless shrimp at Red Lobster.
(10-03-07)

poem by Joe Rosochacki
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I Hate the Thought of Hate Crimes

A crime is a crime no matter how cut it,
A murder is a murder, a rape is a rape,
An assault is what it is,
A crime scene is a crime with the yellow tape.

If the prisons were to be abundant,
We can then send to jail all are convicted,
We don’t have to pardon anyone out overcrowding and time off for good behavior,
We must send all the criminals that indicted,
Guilty as charged that is what should fuel our endeavor.

Are we really up to the cost?
Are we really up to taxation?
Are we saying we have lost?
Are we saying we’ll pass another law,
such as hate crimes,
without a suitable explanation?

(11-20-2007)

poem by Joe Rosochacki
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Who’s afraid of the Big Bad Wolf?

Or it is “Who’s afraid of Virginia Wolf”?
Anyway, Palin and lip-stick coated pit bull persona is being attacked again,
From Ashley Judd, for Palin’s defense of aerial hunting of wolves.
Palin has encouraged hunting for wolves that she made a $150 bounty,
For each severed left paw,
What gall!
The hunters fly in airplanes or helicopters to bag their prey,
How daring!
With high powered rifles with scopes they shoot to kill,
I would have them much more on the ground, on foot, if dare I say.
Then I would consider that a hunt.
Not shooting fish in a fish barrel, a barrel with a bunch dead pickled herring.

(2-5-09)

poem by Joe Rosochacki
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Chocolate to Die For *aka* Willy Wonka’s Woeful Ways of Weeping

Vincent Smith II died yesterday,
Of a most peculiar way.
He was temporary worker loading cocoa in the Cocoa Service Plant in Camden,
New Jersey.
It was plain to see,
He was quite content working at a chocolate factory.
Vince thought there was nothing to worry about safety,
-nothing- made him quit-
living.
For he fell into a vat of chocolate.
Vince’s fellow workers tried to save him,
Drowning by chocolate was to be induced.
And to top it off,
-the agitator that mixes the mix,
Hit Vince’s head and unfortunately made his breathing body nix.
I wonder if the government would do recall on this batch of chocolate that was produced.

7-9-09

poem by Joe Rosochacki
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Day After D-day

Yes it is history
Tell that to the surviving members of his or her family
I remember only
Uncle Eddie and Cleburn(e) Mize 'Blondie'
They survived the assault on the European continent
They cracked open Nazism's door
Back on June 6th,1944
But we hear not of these heroes
But instead we hear about Casey Anthony,
Congressman Weiner's weiner
So not word is mentioned about these 18,19, and 20 year old guys
(Save Saving Private Ryan and A Band of Brothers)
hitting the beach at Normandy.
So let them not be forgotten?
We will go through Caseys and Weiners
Who knows what's on the slate for JUNE 6,2012
More dead soldiers,
Where have the flowers gone? *
They've gone to Willie McBride's**

poem by Joe Rosochacki
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It's not the Economy Stupid!

Ervin Lupoe blamed it all on the economy,
He executed his wife,3 daughters and 2 sons,
Before he committed suicide.
He was obviously a troubled man;
he placed importance on the dollar,
Above all else;
above everybody,
He was troubled beyond what he wrote in his letter,
He was facing a mid-life crisis with his job loss,
His wife had lost her job,
But this murder-suicide is much more than that,
It is about greed,
low self-esteem,
the preponderance of negative news coverage,
It is about the way of American life gone badly.
Endemic for all socio-economic classes,
I hope that this will be an isolated circumstance,
After all did Ervin forget about the ‘Great Depression’?
What would have been to outcome if all people,
who were out a job,

[...] Read more

poem by Joe Rosochacki
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Rocky Raccoon-ish

Now somewhere in the black mountain hills of chicago
There lived a young boy named rocky raccoon…….(The Beatles)

Road Kill was all I wanted to have my tantalizing taste buds taste,
Raccoon, all the raccoons seemed to die waste,
Along Farm Rd.275 North or I-75 or I-94 or Highway 11,
To the gamey diner raccoon is like chicken but more it’s heaven.
Alice’s brother said to me “Didn’t you eat ‘coon before? ”
I replied “They don’t prepare the ‘coon in Hamtramck.”
But in Michigan, downriver from Detroit, they serve muskrat.
Muskrats and raccoons they’re all road kill,
I thought about and stated we eat lobster, shrimp and crab.
Which are the cockroaches and spiders of sea,
So why not, have some road kill,
you may find out that is your cup of tea.
So is the Captain and Tennille going for this delicacy?

(1-21-2008)

poem by Joe Rosochacki
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A Royal Flush!

The ‘Assuies’ are levying a tax on water output, so called the ‘flushing tax’,
Some are not flushing as much do reduce their water bill,
Some are going “outside” in their outback, if you will,
In this world wide economic slow down you can’t be lax.
Some businesses are getting to point of developing ‘waterless toilets’,
The composting toilets are great for saving water and money,
They come in a variety of styles and you have much to gain,

With the average household flushing up to 35,000 litres of potable water down the drain each year,
Ecoflo waterless toilets will save you from flushing water and money down the drain.

This is about as good as it gets,
I hope that this will not lead banning of the term flushing,
Because where will the USTA US Open be played?
In Compost Meadows?
That doesn’t sound right.

(2-21-09)

poem by Joe Rosochacki
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Ooh-la-la Oompa-Loompa

Oompa, Loompa, doom-pa-dee-da
If you're not greedy, you will go far
You will live in happiness too
Like the Oompa Loompa doom-pa-dee-do

Oompa, Loompa, doom-pa-dee-do
I have another puzzle for you
Oompa, Loompa, doom-pa-da-dee
If you are wise, gas up before your tank reaches “E”
(Willy Wonka's Chocolate Factory)

Paris to the rescue of an injured Oompa-Loompa,
Paris stayed at the Oompa-Loompa’s side until medics arrived,
The Ambulance came, and it did not run out gas,
To much her chagrin, Paris Hilton, did run out gas in her Bentley,
She had hoped for the best she continued to drive, -on vapors.
On a $300,000 Bentley there must be an idiot light to show you have a low tank,
Behold the paparazzi,
-her knight in shining armor,

[...] Read more

poem by Joe Rosochacki
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