Missing You

Missing you feels like hours spend in slow motion
Desperate moments alone in the dark
Watching the clock loosing seconds
Quicksand layering the surface of my distraction

Missing you as I had met you before
Submitting to the vision of you in my mind
Abandonment of all reasons
As I vacate my room of mirrors and glass

Insanity in full motion
While you are still not by my side
Founding you as my institution
While a mirage monopolizes my life

© 2011

poem by Kristina Louisa Carr
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Shades of Grey

Black is the color of the night
Grey is the shadow of you I sight
White is the shirt you wear
Black is your suit I declare

White is the wall you lean against
Grey is our path I sensed
Black is the memory I lost
Black is the road we never crossed

Grey is the prospect of the day
Grey is the taxi driving away
Black is the truth to never find you
Black is everything I can't undo

Black is my room without light
White is my color of hope in spite
Grey is the circle around my heart
Black is the truth like a work of art

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poem by Kristina Louisa Carr
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Anticipation

I feel drumming waterfalls invading my mind
Thoughts of crashing floods are newly refined
Answers precede questions never asked before
While excitement lures behind every closed door

Standing at the edge feeling the rush of height
Moving with great speed ignoring every red light
Loading a gun feeling the smooth metal in hand
Going over the options to lie in the witness stand

Riding the rollercoaster backwards for thrills
Taking a high stake bet with fake dollar bills
Fingertips tingle feeling the chill of perspiration
Dreams run wild when waiting with anticipation

poem by Kristina Louisa Carr
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Cape Town (in winter)

I am here, close to you but so far away
The blue of the ocean mirrors in your eyes
Your eyes the same temperature as the water
As dark as the earth
As vibrant as the movement of the city
Hidden behind dark shades

I followed you blindly
Because I said that I would
Is that really you - the stranger in the tailored suit
Armed guards on the doorsteps
Bulletproof glass
Silence in the middle of the city

Among strangers
Conducting transactions
Your eyes as you play poker
Reflecting the man I don't know
But then - a spark in your eyes
You're turning to me

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poem by Kristina Louisa Carr
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Water on Skin

Slow drops of ice water
From my mouth to your skin
Small cascades of liquid
This game you may not win

Your lips slowly quiver
My tongue on your neck
Your nipples harden
Your desire no longer in check

Small rivers of liquid
Running down your chest
Welcomed by your navel
Your restraints put to the test

As I drink from the crater
My mouth really moist
Welcomes your hardness
Your intentions clearly voiced

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poem by Kristina Louisa Carr
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You Are Far

Your hazel eyes fade in my memory
Too far for my touch
Like lightening you invade my existence
Awakening the sleepy part of me

Have I fallen so deep for you
Because you fill the empty space in me
Because the love you give is my heartbeat
Because without you I could never be me

I have never told you
The affect you have on my breathing
About the hours I stare at your picture
And that distance only disappears while I'm sleeping

I'm exploring the opportunity of your intention
Subconsciously my hands on your skin
Your strength diffusing over the rays of my essence
I saw myself in you - therefore you win

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poem by Kristina Louisa Carr
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Caught

Is it she who you see when you are dreaming
Or are your words empty as you are scheming
Your voice is monotone when you call her name
Your smile does not reach your eyes as you claim

I notice that your reactions are non-committal
Your excuses are frequent asking for acquittal
Your manner is nonchalant when you call her
And you stand your grounds with connoisseur

She is my friend and she deserves protection
So I will scrutinize your moves and rejections
I am not clear why you are stringing her along
Using her kindness and doing her all wrong

The weekends you reserve for your friends
And when she is sad you act as making amends
But you are playing while she really trusts you
Just be aware that I know and follow through

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poem by Kristina Louisa Carr
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Lagos

City of noise, fumes, dirt and corruption
City of beaches, money, luxury and lust
A city where your wisdom is lost
Where serenity is covered in sweat and blood

Lagos will disregard your identity
Hires blind men as tour guides
Desperate hours in internet cafes
While the gambler awaits his reward

The souls of men held hostage in hotel rooms
Privacy is non existent
And loneliness is right by your side
Your sleep is surrounded by tears and sorrow

Lagos the city of false dreams
Salt on the open wounds of insignificance
Morality lost during nights of surrender
Among oppression hope barely survives

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poem by Kristina Louisa Carr
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Smiles About Love

If you find that the days are lovely and bright
Although the morning seems rather boring
And you are standing at your window smiling
Feeling a slight breeze while you are at ease

If you find that lunch time is greater than ever
When it's fruit you eat and every bite is sweet
And you're smiling at people you don't know
This calm midday drinking hot tea from a tray

If you find yourselve wondering what happened
On this rainy day when sunshine is far away
And you are sitting and smiling at the mirror
On this afternoon without hearing a single tune

If you find that you are looking for the night
Happily waiting perceiving the darkness sedating
Anticipating warm embraces and words whispered
Emotions no longer gloved you know you are loved

poem by Kristina Louisa Carr
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Rain

Rain is electricity for my soul
Like a light switch turning on my emotions
The rain - soft, wet, warm embracing
Water in the desert of my world
Dusty leaves awaken to a new level of life
Emerald sparks for my existence

Rivers of rain drops cascading through my dreams
Innocents lost in white rains of destruction
Memories dismissed in streams of blue water
My yearnings embraced by grey streaks of rain
Sapphire tides ignite my abandoned passions
Wet moss green bandages for my heart

Restrained tears like salty drops born of infinite oceans
Traces of pain washed away by the rain
The rain - pleasing, moist, warm, forgiving
Water spilling over sidewalks as gestures of kindness
Slippery saturating encounters
Raindrops stir tidal motions in the name of love

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poem by Kristina Louisa Carr
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