Fake ID
Someone go get the net
there is yet
another crazy
roaming
my padded cell
the brain dead
monitor
with its one eye
glaring at me
asks me to undress
as I struggle
to escape my
designer label
straightjacket
I need to let loose
I want to go shopping
online
send some flowers
to anyone who
knows me
[...] Read more
poem by Ted Sheridan
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Erroneous Perceptions of Reality In a Late Afternoon's Sun
There is just something very sexy
about the way she twists and plays
with that short section of fine hair
on the left side of her pretty head; wrapping
it around her index finger and painted nail
as she glances into her car's rearview mirror
while she waits for the light to turn green
Meanwhile I stare at her in wonderment and pray…
that we are stuck in traffic forever…
The fantasy ends as the car behind me
honks for Jesus…
2008 © T Sheridan
poem by Ted Sheridan
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A Funny Thing Happened on the Way to the Forum
Welcome to the Colosseum
Where pain is pleasure and it is our pleasure to be of service
Lay back on the rack
The waxing poetics are hot and the iced humor is very dry
The fence sitter splinters are sharp but the elitist tongues are sharper
There are many painful pleasures which abound
We guarantee your total satisfaction
Or we'll give you fifty lashes of your back for free
For no one ever enters with a smile
Who doesn't leave here with a grimace
(2007)
poem by Ted Sheridan
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Lamian Lamentations
There is no such thing as innocence
To an addict
Like a vampire who craves the blood not the bite
It keeps them medicated
It keeps them warm
It makes them innocent
There is no right from wrong
Only pain from which to deliver oneself
Evil is not a consequence considered
Righteous are they who seek to punish the avenger
For they will be forgiven
There is no such thing as innocence
Only justice served cold with revenge and a drink
And Justice is a vampire
poem by Ted Sheridan
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We Will All Be Good Niggers
We will all be good niggers.....to the chaos in the world
just as long as we believe that taxing the rich
will clothe and feed the poor___
or by aborting an unwanted fetus
we will be creating a better more loving world___
We will all be good niggers.....to the evil in world
as long as we try to negotiate a peace with evil
Evil unopposed is not peace but death......
and peace.....
Peace is but the dream of a conquered defeated people___
It is Evil's 'Dirty Little Secret'......
(2007)
poem by Ted Sheridan
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Kudos, Dittos And The Indifference Of Dildos
She told me my green urine was disgustingly vulgar
And she found my mere mention of it to be distasteful
Forget about the fact that I made reference to it only
As a metaphor to describe the facts as they be
In that man can waste his time popping supplements
From Vitamin A tabs to caps of Zinc
And yet nothing is as healthy for the body
As what his mind ingest from a daily diet of God’s word….
This is why I don’t write for the kudos
But I am made stronger by the dittos I receive
When two or more among us come together and agree
poem by Ted Sheridan
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Her Laundry List
Curtains were made
to conceal ugly people's nudity
Matchsticks were made to
scratch the inside of your ears
(doctors warn against this practice)
Fishing poles were made
to poison a man's ambition
Carpeting was made to cover dirt floors
Television was made to sell crap
Newspapers were written to wrap the crap in
Welfare was made to keep people dependent on crap
And finally
I was made to be yours
Socks worn more than three days were meant to be thrown away
and so therefore you weren't made to be mine
Logic....who said anything about Logic?
poem by Ted Sheridan
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White Guilt
Former President Bill Clinton
Eventually plays the race card
The way all liberals will when threatend
With an uprising down on the plantation
Over and over and time after time
We have seen this card trick done
They have used this tactic on the people
And up until now they have always won
But this time things are different
The people will say 'No' to this Uncle Tom'
And white guilt will elect our first black President
Note: If Condi Rice was running I'd vote for her....but just look how she was depicted by political cartoonist. All racism is politics.
2008 © T Sheridan
poem by Ted Sheridan
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Proximate Words Of Good And Evil
Hamartia is an umbrella
It covers the head of the snake
A snake that bites the hand that feeds it
A snake by any name
Sin or sins it shelters both
The road more traveled or the road less so
We do not stop to notice
Or to inspect
The snake has followed
Our every step
Sheltered by its covenant with God
His head is neither wet by rain or sweat
For he has no earthly cares
As Hamartia is an umbrella
That covers his transgressions
The ultimate protagonist
He hisses his prayers
With a little dropp of poison
To sweeten the deal he will contract
With you and you and you
[...] Read more
poem by Ted Sheridan
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Kicking It Up Their Wazoo....
Who threw me this fuc*ing football?
Expecting me to kick the sh*t out of it and then run
Where are those drunken buggers?
That placed a series of bets on me
To just quit and lay it all down on the ground
Like some bleeding punk…
That's what they'd prefer to think of me...
But listen to my words you blokes
And take a lesson from my lashing tongue
When I first entered this here game of yours
I was not having any fun
But after many yards and many years
Of beating my hard earned head
Against the inside of your legalizations of protective helmets
I think I’ve finally got the bloody hang of this
And I for one intend to win…
So I ask again…Who threw me this fuc*ing football?
2008 © T Sheridan
poem by Ted Sheridan
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